Nutson
The Gamehole

Nutson

What's up gangstas?

 My names is all Nutson and shit, and I'm hailing from that frozen wasteland of 'Sota. That's right, bringing it loud and strong like a bunch of bitches all up in that snow and ice and shit.

People are always like, Nutson, you got to be Scandinavian and shit. Troof is, I'm Jewish. That's right, holy land and all that resurrection boolshit. Damn straight I bring it more Sammy Davis Jr.-conversion-type Jewish than that hardcore Alan Dershowitz bizznatch, but fucking lawyers, I am one, so I'm all up in that shit too. I've only been to like one or two of them meetings of the Illuminati, but I keep that shit on the downlow until it's time. World overthrow and shit don't need no flappin gums.

But I always got gum, you need some? I'll hook you up right. Dentyne muthafucka.

Anywho bros, I'm also down with the WNBA, the Tilted Kilt (them's some bitches boooi!), bacon, and China. That's right all you Deng Xiaoping-loving whores, China. I'm right up in that shizznit, too. But I totally got it for China before the Olympics, so don't be thinking I'm just following that crowd. No way, I would never do that. That's why I roll with my pies topped with nothing but 'roni and greens and blacks olives. That's right, damn straight and solid. Fuck the hatas. Maybe I'll even get me a saltlick, or some of the other G-holers suggested I get me some saltpeter. I don't even know nothing about that saltpeter and what it be. I'm so checkin the Wikipedia, ya'll.

B-R-muthafuckin-B.



Bee-otch. That shit's cold. But I's don't mind, I just rolled with my kidney stones like it's nobody's bizznatch. I passed'em clean and true with only a little squirt of blood and now I'm pumping like a fire hose.

So yeah. I've been gaming for so long I hardly remember a time when I didn't roll like that. My moms even said that maybe I come out of the womb with a 20-sider in my hand. Can you believe that?! Fuckin' moms. Even she's all up in my grille and shit.

So yeah, I should get down to it: I'm a founding member of The Gamehole (shout out bitches, shout that muthafucka out), and my hardon for role playing stems from my first love, theater. That's right bitches, crack it all you want, but have you ever seen one of them gays in the theater?

I didn't think so. So if you're thinking that crazy shit, maybe it's you who's gay, not this bizznatch.

I'm out.

Nutson

-As told to Albert

Nutson's Favorite Websites


CNN
ESPN
Copyright The Gamehole 2001
Updated on 20 October 2001