This page was created to honor those who have passed from this life and into the next while pursuing their dreams in the world of Greyhawk, the Forgotten Realms, or anywere else adventure is to be found. Be they slain by a knife in the dark, while in the heat of battle or by their own foolish devises, they are here celebrated.
Coco Hornwood:
Born: 7th day of the 936th year of the 1st age
Died: 5th day of the 23rd year of the 2nd age
Hugo.
Coco Hornwood, a gnome theif/illusionist, met an untimely end when he brazenly charged into a room and was hacked to pieces by several Troglodytes. Coco was a real piece of shit with no discernable purpose. Like any good thief he entered rooms without caution, and was more than once used as a pincushion by waiting enemies. But he could cast dancing lights, man. Coco enjoys the distinction of being one of the first characters killed (a bit of foreshadowing for Andy's D&D career), and for having his eulogy rewritten after it was erased by a frantic webmaster. The original version of his eulogy is now worth thousands of dollars. Rest in pieces you little stack of rabbit droppings.
Roderick: (that's one for Rod)
Born: date unknown
Died: 47th day of the 24th year of the 2nd age
The bastard son of a minor noble and a prostitute, Roderick was a
respected albeit quiet Ranger. Roderick loved life…..loved the ladies
of his life to be more precise. If only the ladies had loved Roderick.
His numerous passes at tavern hussies and local fillies went mostly
unfulfilled. Roderick also loved adventure. This led him to the towns
of Sandsdrake, Orlane, Tabusk, and finally Highport. Due to his dubious
upbringing, Roderick swore to be a good father to his only child,
Roderick II. A good father in the way his father had never been to him.
But this would never be, as his life was taken by the evil slave lord
of the undercity at Highport. Roderick's body now lies in the very
defiled temple where this slavelord plied his trade. However, due in
large part to Roderick's efforts while still alive, the temple has been
purged of the evil presence of the slave lord. May he rest in peace.
Ionel Evendar:(that's two for Rod)
Born: 4th day of the 779th year of the 1st age
Died: 17th day of the 27th year of the 2nd age
Ionel Evendar was an Elven magic user whose career as a prestidigitator
was very short lived. Best known for being unable to defend himself
from the most feeble of attacks, it was only a matter of time before
his
short chapter in the World of Greyhawk came to an end. Ionel regularly
ran from battle to blend into the vegetation, rendering himself
invisible from further attack. He could also be seen wrestling
with giant ants or chasing after a bugbear that had bitten off a hunk
of
his tallywacker. Yes, the life of Ionel was full of downs and further
downs. Ironically, his proudest moment came immediately before his
death, when he faced a formidable evil magic user in the haunted keep
of
Bone Hill. Before Ionel had the chance to reach his full potential as a
mage, a massive fireball took his last breath. He also enjoyed a brief
stint as a goat, and was known to yell out "Fister" from time to time.
He is survived only by two of his elven 'life-partners' who run a
boutique in Restenford. Finally, it should be noted that this
character, like Roderick, was played by the Rod. He enjoys the
distinction of planting two bodies faster than anyone else in The
Gamehole. Nice work Rod. May Ionel rest in peace.
Thoran:
 
Born: 15th day of the 983rd year of the 1st age
Died: 12th day of the 17th year of the 2nd age
Thoran was the man in black. He liked to kill. In fact, he liked to
kill a lot. Usually assassins require payment before killing. Not
Thoran. He would kill just because he felt like it. Indisciminately and
even thoughtlessly. This does not mean that Thoran was good at combat
though. While he was able to single handedly slay a couple of unarmed
innkeepers, he did get his ass kicked by a couple of wolves, a
shopkeeper and by various members of his own party. Thoran was killed
by a poison needle trap deep in the Tomb of the Lizard King while
attempting to liberate the town of Waycombe and the surrounding lands
of the Count of Eor. Do not mistakenly read an altruistic streak into
Thoran's character for this seemingly selfless sacrifice. He was seized
by a local guild for operating with out the guild's permission and was
"volunteered" for this mission under threat of death. Essentially, no
one really liked Thoran. He was an evil bastard and he probably got
what was coming. May Thoran rest in peace.
Dino Cleanhands:
Born: 4th day of the 779th year of the 1st age
Died: 17th day of the 27th year of the 2nd age
Everyone liked Dino. At least that's what he told himself. Dino was a
moderately successful thief who spent most of his time building
alliances that he could later break for profit. Unfortunately, he
crossed the Thieves' Guild in Eor and was sent on a suicide mission to
fight Sakatha.
To his credit Dino was the last member of his party standing to face
Sakatha at the end of the battle. To his detriment, Dino turned into a
bat in his last moments, and is rumored to be spending all eternity as
Sakatha's beloved pet and taint-scratcher.
Dino - he was smooth, he smelled nice, he made some friends, he screwed them over, and now he swims with the fishes.
Marlo:
An orphan girl with a chip on her shoulder, Marlo was a young cleric on
a mission to prove her worthiness. She was a tough little scrapper with
a heart of gold. She flailed through ranks of monsters and laid her
healing hands on her comrades without regard to their sketchy motives.
She would even have happily plucked the lice from Grunthor’s head, had
he let her touch him.
Now her body lies smoldering in the lair of the very same Lizard
King she set out to defeat. So much potential lost. So many questions
unanswered. Would she ever have gotten the hang of speaking to the
dead? Would she ever have lightened up enough to lose her virginity? We
will never know. Rest in peace, Young Lady.
Buddhi Bangar: (that's three for Rod)
Born: 5th day of the 976th year of the 1st age
Died: 17th day of the 27th year of the 2nd age
Buddhi Bangar grew up in the Kingdom of Vijayanagar. He then moved to the Sword
Coast where he trained under the group of the Red Mage. Buddhi was known to his
associates as ‘Chocolate Thunder’, and he never ventured anywhere without his
trusty staff. His staff guided him through the worst of battles, and once
helped him slay a dragon. Buddhi had a temper, and was known to become furious
upon casting ineffective spells. After one such incident, he ripped a page from
his spell book and burned it in a fit of rage. Buddhi’s ambition was to
foresake his life as a mercenary, and retire back home to the Himachal Pradesh
Mountains to strum his three stringed sitar. Buddhi died along with a hired
band of adventurers at the hands of Sakatha in his evil tomb.
Not even Buddhi's much acclaimed ant-eater could save him. Unlike
Ghandi who refused cake during his hunger strike, Buddhi was one of the
greedier dots you've ever seen. Paranoid, uptight, quick to anger, and
with his lips pressed against those of another male in the party - that
was Buddhi. He could catch one hell of a cod though. Sweet dreams
little brown one.
Grunthor Dissengulp:
Born: 83rd day of the 853rd year of the 1st age
Died: 17th day of the 27th year of the 2nd age
Grunthor was a stinky, nasty and belligerent Dwarf from Icewind Dale.
He did not really like anyone and nobody particularly cared for him. He
hated elves and magic. When I say hate, I mean really hate. His rancor
towards elves is akin to the way the Klan feels about the NAACP. Magic
was a close second on his shit list. Fittingly, that is how Grunthor
met his end. He was snuffed out by a Cloudkill spell deep in the heart
of the Tomb of the Lizard King. He was done in by one of the things
that he despised most. He is probably sitting in Valhalla right now
trying to figure out some way to blame those damn elves. That said, he
was a fighter without equal, a gem miser beyond compare and thinker who
needed to drop his pants to count to 21. All Grunthor ever wanted was a
few gallons of booze, a dozen bearded ladies and a pile of precious
gems. Is that so much to ask? Apparently yes. May Grunthor rest in
peace.
Arillion:
Born: 20th day of the 763rd year of the 1st age
Died: 17th day of the 27th year of the 2nd age
Arillion was a good good guy. He was noble, brave and trustworthy. In
other words, he was a real pain in the ass. Paladins are obnoxious, but
a High Elf Paladin!?! That is just going too far. Arillion was always
ready to go first through any door and was always willing to face evil
where ever he found it. However, this will not win Arillion any
attendance awards. Arillion often had to be played by a player other
than his creator. Arillion was in this postion when he met his end.
Earlier in the adventure, Arillion had picked up and used what he later
came to realize was a cursed sword. This sword made him attack
everything in sight. Arillion eventually had to be put down like a
rabid dog. Put down he was with his body left where it had fallen.
Sanctimonious, yes. Punctual, no. May Arillion rest in peace.
Brashen Trell:
Born: 28th day of the 807th year of the 1st age
Died: 17th day of the 27th year of the 2nd age
Brashen was a weird dude. He could never get enough ass jokes. He was
some sort of magicy fighter type. No one was ever really sure what he
could do because he fled from almost every fight he was in. You see,
Brashen had an incredible fear of snakes. Anything with scales on it
would make him head for the hills. Occasionally, he would be able to
master his fear and would fly into a wild rage trying to stomp the
little snakey snakes into bits. Other than that, Brashen seemed like a
pretty good guy. We never really got to know Brashen because he
succumbed to a stinking cloud spell deep in the Tomb of the Lizard
King. At least this time, he went down fighting. Brashen may have been
a demented ass freak, but he will none-the-less be missed. May Brashen
Trell rest in peace.
Berik: (that's three for Andy - nice job)
Born: 5th day of the 976th year of the 1st age
Died: 17th day of the 27th year of the 2nd age
Berik was an ugly dude. Yea, really ugly. He started off as some sort
of Fighter/Magic User multi-class, but that changed. Change; a central
theme in Berik's life. After kicking it around at a temp agency and
then following a short stint as a realtor, Berik settled on being a
Ranger as a vocation. It was shortly after this decision that things
went horribly wrong. While adventuring in the dungeon below Castle
Caldwell, Berik found an unusually heavy and decorated belt. Without
further thought or contemplation, Berik tried it on. In the seconds
that followed, Berik became Berika. Yes that's right, a forced sex
change, a first for The Gamehole. In a move which set back the women's
movement at least 25 years, Berika, distraught with the prospect of
having to use any product's made by Summer's Eve, took her/his own life
in an act of cowardice matched only by his/her previous act of
stupidity. Berik was an ugly man and an even uglier woman. He/she was
also a go-tard in either sex. Berika is now spending eternity in
whatever niche of hell reserved for the foolish and the stupid. May
Berik rest in eternal torment.
Hugo Burrows: (that's FOUR for Rod)
Born: 1325 DR
Died: 1367 DR - The year of the Shield
Hugo was a real punk, even for a halfling. To his credit though, he was
a shadow thief. He came within an inch of being the boss of Espurta's
south side. He dodged many assassination attempts, and also dodged much
responsibility. He was never one to volunteer for duty, but was always
first in line when the booty was doled out. Especially if that booty
happened to be of the sprite variety. Yes, Hugo will be remembered by
his 'lady' Starlight, a sprite and carny that Hugo once loved.
Hugo met his eventual demise in the Castle Spulzeer. A ghost began to
keen, and her call drove Hugo mad. As he wandered about like a Special
Olympic sprinter, his friend Ketra scooped him up. She tried to rush
him out of the crumbling castle, but she tripped on a bottle of SoCo on
the floor, and the two died screaming for their collective mamas. Two
midgets taken out with one stone. May Hugo rest in peace.
Ketra Tostin:
Born: 1314 DR
Died: 1367 DR - The year of the Shield
Ketra came to the Band of the Hand green as they come. She didn't know
who she was or what to do. She probably didn't even realize that she
had a beard. Over time, she killed stuff and grew into her role as a
fighter, but there wasn't much room to grow. Ketra truly learned on the
job. At one point there was a 'gash' in a door. Without thinking Ketra
decided the best course of action was to jam her face into it. Later in
life she was kind enough to satisfy Ello-the-Cleric-of-Sune manually.
She even serviced an entire barracks of Purple Dragons for what she
thought was the good of the group. She was such a giver. She was a
really nice kid, sort of like Ann Marie, oh wait, exactly like Ann
Marie.
The gods gave Ketra one chance to contribute to the world. While in
Castle Spulzeer she tried to heroically save an enfeebled Hugo. She
couldn't quite make it out the door though, and thanks to Ketra, Hugo
died with her. The gods were undoubtedly pleased by that. May Ketra
rest in peace.
Lily White: (Back-to-back for Ann Marie - That's three)
Born: 1346 DR
Died: 1369 DR - The year of the Axe
Lily White was a waitress who never served a drink, a thief who never stole
a damn thing, a piece of ass that never gave up any ass. At the tender age
of 23, Lily died 14 times in 4 months of traveling with the Band of the
Hand. Her final end came under the fleshy probes of a trio of Mind Flayers.
Lily will be remembered for nothing in particular. She got her ass kicked
by a dwarf, several poisoned traps, and a winged cat. Once she got really
drunk and crab crawled in some sand. Lily tended to blurt out inappropriate
phrases, not in an improvisational comedy way as much as an accidental
too drunk way.
Lily's body will be laid to rest in her hometown of Waterdeep.
Services will be held at the Chapel Clearsky of Sune, adept Matt Blair
presiding. The Band of the Hand asks that instead of flowers, mourners send
cash to Chapel Clearsky. May Lily rest in peace.
Kim: (Back-to-back-to-back for Ann Marie - That's four - wow)
Born: 1346 DR
Died: 1369 DR - The year of the Drunken Ass
Kim can be best remembered by the stories of her/his life. Setting
aside the fact that his parents are totally doctors, and that he
delivers pizza, and has a mullet (he is sometimes sans mullet because
he totally donates his hair, because he's like cool or something) and
needs a ride to Perkins, where he cannot believe you get to eat the
breadbowl - that's so outrageous, Kim was a fighter/thief, I think.
Sadly I was not present for my favorite Kim moment, but thanks to the
marvelous theatrical abilities of various members of the gamehole (which are
considerable as it must be conceded that such tales are usually being told
while choking back tears of mirth) I still feel this stands forth above all
others as both hilarious and yet capturing the often tragic nature of Kim's
short life.
Kim then went to work. He/she couldn’t pick the lock on the 7th chest. He
then went to open the 6th chest which had previously been determined to be
trapped. The DM said “That chest is trapped….er…..I meant to say
locked.” Brazenly ignoring this second warning that the chest was trapped,
Kim picked the lock and opened the chest. This caused the trap to be
triggered, and a huge 10-foot thick stone block sealed off the room. And
Wheaties was re-born in the form of Ann Marie.
Congratulations! (As originally told by El Rod)
"I thought the bag boy cock vs. feedmill employee was a rather fitting
eulogy."
Rest in piece Kim, may you find the happiness you looked so hard far in various holes, hideouts, and itch creams.
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