The Town Square
Recraps

Well done last night. It started with Raife casting locate object to find their missing party member. The trail led to a prison where a couple prison guards were munching on Cathmor. One guard was quickly killed while the other survived long enough for Chip to interrogate. He found out that a rope bridge at the end of the hall was trapped. Chip agreed not to kill him in exchange for information on the location of the chief bad guy. The guard even considered changing his flesh eating ways. Enter the anecdote about Ron Anderson and the massage therapist. Cathmor had other ideas, citing his general rule that anyone who had just been eating him must die. So the prison guard died.

At this point the proverbial cows had walked away from the barn and CJ was not amused. But the dilemma was who CJ should seek vengeance against, the party member that promised the prison guard his safety or the party member that did the killing. Staying true to the running theme of the module, the obvious choice was Chip, who was sliced in the shoulder when Cruel Justice compelled Raife to attack.

Next, the group put down a hobbyist who spent his spare time making model buildings. A couple items of note were found in his private chamber, a bag of holding and frost brand. The group then made their way up the stairs to the final battle.

Tarrak, wielder of the fifth and final star arm Azurak, made his last stand with the aid of his ring of spectral hand, anathaema eagle, three acolytes, Xander the dwarf, and two hell hounds. He kept inflicting damage to Cathmor with the spectral hand but the battle broke badly for his minions. Cathmor gained revenge against the dwarf that imprisoned him. The acolytes were killed and ensuing animated zombies destroyed. Chip flew up to the altar and Tarrak moved in to attack. CJ lopped off the hand wielding the great mace, and Gallagher’s fist landed the final blow. In Tarrak’s chamber, Mathis found a ring of the chameleon, and Raife won the roll-off for a ring with two wishes.

Sometimes translucent slug exoskeleton bridges are just translucent slug exoskeleton bridges.

We started off last night by returning from Azadum, the Duergar stronghold. You were confronted by a chasm and a large tube bridge. Not trusting the bridge, you put Chip’s winged boots on Cathmore and sent him over in flight. He was attacked mid-flight by a couple of Dire Bats. He took some punishment (a constant theme from last night) but you were able to fight them off. The bridge proved sound and you moved on.

You next found a long tunnel that led to a new item or area. Before you got too far though, you were confronted with a band of Troglodytes. Gallagher on point got slapped around a bit, but R and Cathmore waded in to clean up. Gallagher did kill a weakened Trog, which was another constant theme – Gallagher killing off near death monsters with his stick.

After a lengthy bit of travel you discovered a brightly lit chamber full of mushrooms. This was an obvious Shrieker patch. R smashed one and the Shrooms and the alarm was sounded.

In rushed a bunch of Trogs. Chip webbed a group and Mathis rolled out his flame sphere. Gallagher flailed futilely. R and Cathy did some killing. Chip has previously touched off a fireball which had dispatched most of the fungus.

At the mouth of the next chamber, R triggered a stalactite trap. He went down. Mathis tried to pull him out, but was ambushed by two Duergar (wtf?) and a bad ass Trog with a big ax. This was a pretty nasty fight. Cathy went down and Chip started dragging out bodies after casting some pretty good illusion magic to distract the opponents. Pivotally, Mathis summoned a bear which took some damage and gave you all some time. You were able to eventually kill them off ( yet more stick kills for Gallagher) and then camped. The injured nags were stabilized and Mathis prayed for more healing spells. You ended up sitting there for nearly and entire day resting and healing up.

Moving on you found a cave that had some sort of elevator. Unfortunately, it was guarded by three more Trogs which the scouting Gallagher failed to see. You were able to kill them off, but not before Cathmore took some considerable damage.

You then inspected the elevator. You gave it a good checking over for traps. Sometimes elevators are just elevators.

Chip cast a light spell on the floor of the elevator and started to lower it. After it dropped a few feet and cleared the cave floor, you guys could see a strange sight. The below massive chamber seemed to be filled with natural sunlight and dense jungle canopy. This must be the Underground Paradise that the rescued dwarf was talking about.

You all decided to climb on the elevator and drop down to the jungle floor. Unfortunately, you failed to heal Cathy up before entering this new region.

After about 40 feet of descent, you heard a croaked query in Draconic. When no one replied, a revolting creature known as Lurgash winged up into view. He was the offspring of a Hezrou demon and a high priestess of some sort of lizard god. The result was this bad M.F.

As you were only 25 feet off of the ground, Gallagher decided to drop off to the ground below. Not a bad decision as Lurgash unleashed his Unholy Blight on the rest of the gayng.

Mathis stuck him with an arrow and the rest of you got the elevator to the ground. Lurgash pulled out his club and started beating on Cathmore as he was the toughest looking character in the party, as the module instructed.

Chip tried another fire ball which failed and everyone else tried their best to fight off this nasty fucker. That is, except Gallagher. He decided it would be a good time to do some exploring. He set off down a jungle path in search of a Hello Kitty retailer.

Cathmore was quickly killed, and I don’t mean unconscious, but killed dead.

Gallagher “found”3 waiting Deinonychus and came running back with them in tow. So, not only did you have this demon thing to fight off, but three pack hunting dinosaurs. At this point, R. considered bailing as Gallagher was already on the elevator and on his way back up.

Everyone held firm fortunately though. Mathis called in a bear, Chip cast many magic missiles and Gallagher licked his paws. You were able to kill off Lurgash and do enough damage to the dinosaurs to drive them off.

That is where we will pick up next time. We are in a clearing at the base of this elevator shaft on a jungle floor deep underground. You know that there is at least one more disk to recover and more prisoners to rescue. Oh, and Cathmore is dead.

P.O.D. goes to Chip/Nutson for all of the good spell casting. Very good use of illusion spells to distract and good non use of the fireball in close quarters.

G.O.D. clearly goes to Gallagher/Albert for bringing more monsters into what was already a tough fight.

After the successful burning of the Golden Curtain you were awarded 3,000 gold each by Magistrate Drearden and given a pat on the back for a job done. In verifying that everyone got out of the curtain alive you discovered that Sarelda, Phelian and the late Mrs. Drearden were all now gone along with one of the carriages. Magistrate Drearden offered you all an additional 7,000 gold if you would retrieve his wife’s body and bring the mastermind of this bizarre plot to justice. Some incredible sleuthing by Chip turned up a Parchment of Sending which was being used by the Theomar to communicate with the home base. Fortunately it retains a convenient transcript of past conversations and a quick read through pointed you in the direction of Orwen.

Road Trip!

A brief jaunt north to the sleepy hamlet that Orwen calls home allowed you guys to heal up and mammorize your spells. Arriving at the town you saw that there were six small buildings which lead up to a very large structure that looked to be a playhouse. Despite the giant neon sign saying “BAD GUY HERE!” Chow fun decided to investigate the tiny empty buildings. They were empty. Moving on to the opera house he found the carriage and then looked to the other side of the building and returned to you guys to report what he found. This must have been where my Mandarin didn’t quite hold up as apparently, “what about the other side?” meant I do a thorough inspection of the entire perimeter of the building. You guys all return with Chow Chow and decided that due to the architectural oddity of a windowless building you had to light the place on fire.

Light it you did and moments later a Lurgrek attacked you. He was put down by a combination of magic missile and a half hearted effort from about half of the party. He was part basilisk and was trying to turn you to stone, but you kept making your saving throws and so he didn’t end up causing much trouble. “Where did he come from?” some asked, but no one followed up on that so the secret door that he emerged from remained a secret.

Raife continued to stoke the fires and after waiting a couple hours the fire had burned the foyer to the ground, but it became apparent the rest of the building must have been built in 1903 out of some kind of newspaper insulation that makes smoke go shooting out of it like a nail out of plaster. So pissing and moaning the whole way, into the opera house everyone went. A classic divide and run like little girls plan was devised and implemented to get through the first room which contained the stage and seating. A gargoyle descended on Raife, but was dispatched fairly rapidly after another hot net toss by R. Lee.

R. Lee/Rod is the clear recipient of POD for the evening as not only was Rod eating some bizarre shit all night to prepare for his new bionic esophagus but R. Lee dealt out about double the damage as compared to all the rest of you combined over the course of the night.

As you moved across the stage the curtain parted revealing some Zombie marionettes. You could have chosen to ignore these things and they would have left you alone, but slaughter was a perfectly acceptable option as well.

Now you moved into a hallway with a number of small rooms which I will fast forward through. You found (and killed if appropriate) in order of their appearance; Matilda Drearden (still dead and in a wedding dress), Philean (she’s a dude!), a madness muse (YSG), some vargouilles w/an eviscerated Seralda (fuck it just lock em in there), and a library (Parchment of Sending complete). This area could have been challenging if you either opened the wrong two areas at once or if you hadn’t already triggered the Lurgrek outside who would have been more of a pain in the ass in close quarters.

The final battle was basically you guys versus a Tree of Woe as Orwen himself was pretty SG, he needed you guys to be softened up by the time you got to him to have any shot and that just didn’t happen. As you entered Orwen was arranging some gifts on the receiving table and stirring the punch as he planned to marry dead Matilda later that day. He booked it for the tree of Woe and did manage to get all but Chip to be in range of it for its attack which again would have made trouble for you, but it only landed on Cathy. You kept hitting Orwen which prevented him from casting any of his spells which was the only useful offense he had so he went to plan B which was the centipede and then plan C which was his gapier. None of these really worked and he was put done for good in pretty short order. Happily this finally gave Raife the opportunity to burn everything starting with the Tree of Woe.

You returned to the husk of the Golden Curtain with the remains of Matilda and collected the rest of your gold from Magistrate Drearden.

Last night was a classic example of why our group would be a giant steaming dump on a D&D tournament. It's amusing to read the module with all the little asides and red herrings that should be thrown to the party to try to keep them off the scent. I knew you probably wouldn't really go through much of the investigation process but you definitely cut through even a bit more than I expected. Surprisingly they did not suggest what to do if the first action the party takes is to crush the windpipe of Seralda and declare martial law.

Anyway, as we started you were all having an enlightening conversation with the VPs again, mainly it was Chip trying to get into some elven finery. Albert/Gallagher was already annoyed at this point. After a few minutes of chit chat in which you discovered a few additional details about the VPs, you arrived at the Golden Curtain. It was quite a sight to behold with a four foot brick base and a soaring two additional stories of aging wood. The reason for the four feet of brick was never discovered.

You were greeted by the innkeeper Cecilia Hardgrave who was shockingly a portly and generally jovial character with bangles (easy Scott, not The Bangles) and other assorted gaudy jewelry. Chip took this moment to book a private dining room for early evening with Phelian. Cathmore threw some gold at the stable boy to take good care of his steed for the duration of your stay. After some pleasantries were exchanged with Cecilia you asked to case the Performance Hall.

Into the Performance Hall you went and it was almost immediately discovered that the room contained one of the most glaring security flaws imaginable in/out windows. They go both ways! (POD Scott) That was marked as a potential trouble area and it was decided that three of you would stay backstage to watch for anything coming from the stage, it seems you suspected possible nefarious deeds by the VPs. Raife would attempt to secure a position in the box with the magistrate and his wife and finally Cathmore would be standing guard at the exit. With a foolproof plan in place off everyone went to enjoy a delicious lunch. R. Lee chased some local tail named Cole (Jesus is all of that neck?) and just as you were finishing lunch Magistrate Hugo Drearden and entourage rolled in. The whole place became a flurry of activity dedicated to making sure his every need was met. The magistrate was a slightly rotund gentleman of 65 and his wife was a pretty foxy blond in her early 30s.

Some slick talk by Raife got him a brief audience with the magistrate and he rolled a monster diplomacy check to convince the magistrate to let him hang in the box during the performance and stand guard. While this was going on Cathmore decided that his love of set design required that he investigate the VPs setup process. Caesar begrudgingly let him in after verifying with Drango that it would be alright. After some stomping about and questions about the use of can lighting Cathmore tried to sit down and watch what was going on, but Caesar put his foot down and shooed Cathmore out.

So the time of the performance arrived and everyone took their places to make sure nothing could go wrong. I don't have the module with me right now, but the play was a tragic tale of spurned lovers and everyone dies in the end. The only really off putting parts of the play were the scene in the middle with the little asian fellow lighting some onions on fire and of course at the closing of the play when Seralda's song which brought nearly everyone to tears and brought a knife to the chest of Hugo Drearden courtesy of his loving wife Matilda.

R. Lee immediately placed a boot on the throat of Seralda and Raife rushed to the aid of Hugo while his men took Matilda into custody. Cecilia ordered that Matilda be sent to a private room upstairs and that everyone else return to their rooms for the night while the magistrate recovered. This is pretty much where everything fell apart. Matilda was eventually questioned and indicated that she blacked out near the end of the song and the next thing she knew she was in the room upstairs covered in blood. Seralda was then interviewed and she reported that Caesar wrote the song which she performed. At this point Albert/Gallagher lost all patience with the world and decided he needed to get into the room shared by Caesar and Drango and get to the bottom of things. He began beating on the door and then one of the half-orc guards began beating on him. A brief fight ensues during which apparently a gushing vagina was opened up on Gallagher (more on that later).

After Cecilia got everyone to calm down the group agreed to retire to their corners if they could at least speak to Caesar. Caesar told you that he didn't write the song either and that you should probably talk to Krenshaw. I don't have my notes with me so I'm not 100% sure if you talked to Krenshaw that night or in the morning. I choose morning. You all had a restless night of sleep with Gallagher staying up and standing guard at one of the doors. The next morning you heard screaming from downstairs and you all went down to discover a bloody message scrolled hundreds of times on the walls of the common room. It faded away to nothing after you managed to read it. At this point you located Krenshaw and found out that the play was likely the work of Orlen who was formerly Krenshaw's pupil and a bard to Hugo. Orlen tried to steal Matilda away from Hugo and was banished from the land and reportedly died. After verifying this information with Theomar you concluded that this was the ghost of Orlen come back to get revenge and were ready to head upstairs to report to Hugo and get your motherfucking money. Just then you heard more screams from outside, you made it out in time to see Matlida Drearden walking on the roof of the Golden Curtain and Raife got off a hold person spell which Matlida saved against and managed to head over the edge anyway. Cathmore broke her fall only to find that she was already dead having slit her wrists before taking to the roof for her swan dive. Oh well, gotta break some eggs to make an omelet (mmm...omelet station) and off you went to Hugo's room now thoroughly convinced that you'd got this shit figgered.

As you got to Hugo's room you smelled smoke and it became clear that the Golden Curtain had been sparked. You all hustled to get out rather than getting Ames'd in a building that was coming apart. Standing in front of the exit were Theomar, Caesar and Drango. Theomar taunted you in a SG fashion and the fight was on. The battle started out solidly until I unexpectedly thrust myself into the lead for GOD by tossing a d4 over my shoulder on a damage roll. Thankfully I was picked up moments later by Gallagher's decision to just hide through the only actual battle of the evening rather than risk agitating the sand in his newly made vagina and thereby grabbing GOD by the reins. Chip did some nice damage with magic missile and Cathmore laid the groundwork for a kill by taking out his aggressions on Caesar for being thwarted in his efforts to learn stagecraft the day before. Raife was having little success with his weapons and confronted with this total catch 22 decided to drop a sonic boom on the whole group of attackers killing Caesar who was hanging on by a thread. With the 5 (4) to 2 advantage the group was able to make short work of the remaining VPs despite the SG use of mirror image by Drango the illusionist. After a quick looting of the bodies you guys ducked out of the crumbling ruins of the inn and that is where we stopped.

You would finish with this beast next time if you want to continue with it. Obviously the female members of the VPs managed to get away and Hugo wants revenge and is willing to pay you kind folks to mete it out.

Gamenight began with the annual handing out of t-shirts, thanks to the generosity of Gamehole absentee, Knutson. They were obviously sweet shirts, though it remains to be seen how much wear they’ll actually get, you know, in public.

Session two of the search for the missing kids found things hot and heavy with lots of monsters encountered and slain. First, you followed the sound of a faint scream to find a fatass bard, Edgerin Galesong, holding his own against a bunch of kobalds and a Bloodscale Warrior. Kimi cowered in the corner like the little bitch she is. These dudes were shockingly easy to dispatch, and Kimi and Edgerin volunteered to take you to the rest of the missing kids. Luckily there were no more gelatinous cubes you could throw Edgerin and Kimi into.

Funny that should come up though, because about 10 minutes into the session, R found himself in possession of the same GOD he earned last time. Much like when he hid behind a tree in the face of a hill giant, he’s proving himself to be quite a pussy of a fighter. To recap: R found an empty kitchen and decided not to examine it. As stated last night, any search roll would have netted R two potions of owl’s wisdom, which he then could have traded to Mathis or Chip for something sweet. Alas, instead, it’s only the GOD and the start of what seems to be a DiMaggio-like streak.

Moving on, Savram was only one room away. To get to him you had to maneuver 10 head-hurling skeletons that animated after R and Cathmor unsurprisingly charged into the room with little forethought. Both got drilled with a few heads, but fucking nine of the 10 were immediately killed by Raife’s religiosity. From my perspective that really fucking sucked, but I’m smart enough to know a spade when I see one, and that there was the POD. Happy Chinese New Year.

From there you found some ghouls which were again quickly chased off, more kobalds and a Dark Talon Hunter, and some other shit not worth mentioning (like when Edgerin tried to throw a rock and missed). All foes were killed easily. Gay.

But then you stumbled on a hellhound which gave Raife a nice faceful of fire, and you all soon realized he was guarding a pretty awesome one-module-only monster, the kickass Forge Spurned. This baby has a 30-foot cone of fire, a soulchain that animates and fights on its own, and some other cool things that unfortunately didn’t come up. Eventually he was killed too, and R took care of his soulchain with a net-and-smash-type move. Good gaming. You retrieved another stupid kid, Jurin, and someone healed him up a bit which was also smart because otherwise he would have died.

So now you have a whole shitload of kids, and were headed down to the lower level, but not before you failed to spot a trapped elevator and took a little pain. Things will get a tougher down low, and hopefully one of you will die next time. Or maybe you’ll all work together, do a super-terrific job of gaming, and no one will get killed. That’s possible too.

Nice work overall. Way to play the NPCs for your advantage, as that was what you were supposed to do. Next time it will be tougher though, that I know.

Recrap of Ossington

So WTF is going on here?

We started off on the heavily forested road to Ossington.  All you knew about this small berg was that there were some rumors about trouble with the elves and that no one had seen anyone from the town in several weeks.

You first few days were uneventful other than the oppressive nature of the forest itself.  You noticed for some reason that at some point, the normal animal noises that you would usually hear in such a forest were not there.

Shortly after this realization, you were suddenly confronted with the screams of apparently innocent peasants being slaughtered by a heavily armed and armored horseman.  Willy took a pot shot at the horseman’s steed which did get the attention of the horseman.  You then witness the fleeing peasant being run down and slain.  In the meantime, Tore had discovered that the horseman was not a man at all, but some sort of incorporeal spirit.  This was demonstrated mere moments later when the horseman vanished from sight.

Around the bend you found the cart, donkey and two more bodies.  After some deft animal handling by Ell, you got the donkey hitched back up, the cart turned around and the bodies loaded up.  Willy also found a hidden compartment containing a few hundred gold and silver coins.

The answer to this mystery was answered later in the evening when you came upon Old Tarbee’s farmstead.  This old coot lived out her with his foxy daughter Tanasha.  You guys did a good job plying him for whatever information that he had.  It turns out that the three villagers slain earlier in the day were trying to get to Fairhaven to buy foodstuff for the starving town and that the citizens of Ossington had been the subject of depredations of this horseman as well as the local wild elves.  Io was quite indignant about this news, but took it in stride.  The information probing did not stop there however.

Tanasha, in classic farmer’s daughter fashion, took a shine to our boy Tore.  After pleading that he save them from these dual evils, she gave him a long and somewhat odd neck sniff.  Tore was not sure to make of this other than it was on.  After being chided and goaded by Io about not screwing this chick, Tore went upstairs, knocked on her door and it was business time.

Oddly, the next day Io was quite upset that Tore had done this despite her goading from the evening before.  Some women just cannot be pleased.

In all you learned that these people were not doing well and were near starvation in fact.  Snorri pledged his aid and shared some rations with these people before leaving.  Before leaving, Tore promised Tanasha that he would come back for her.

The next day, you set off to Ossington which was only a few hours away.  Around mid day, you came upon a low “structure” off to the side of the road in another clearing.  From the road you heard quite chanting coming from within.  Willy slipped on his magicy ring and moved quietly forward to check out what was going on.  After peeking inside he found a middle aged woman in tattered robes with some sort of cat/monkey creature on her shoulder making the rounds praying before a series of shrines of various faerun gods.

Willy came back to report and Io decided to just walk in and see what’s what.  When she entered this woman looked up, greeted you guys and asked you to join her in prayer.  After trying to engage this lady in conversation, you learned that she seemed somewhat unhinged.  She repeatedly asked you all if you are ready to meet your impending deaths.  You learned that the depressions in the earth outside are gravesites after cremation.  Taking this cue, Snorri sparked up a fireball and burned the bodies of the three dead villagers.

You then headed into town.  The town itself is in a large clearing in the middle of the High Forest.  Lining the road to the town and surround the town itself were a series of massive upright stones.  There are two separate rings of stones that encircle the town.  The outer is comprised of 91 stones that stand 30 feet high each.  The inner ring is compromised of 28 stones 20 feet high each.  Moreover, many of the stone are covered in runes.  All you were able to decipher was that it seemed to be some sort of ancient druidic script.

As you pulled into town, a crowd of 40 to 50 villagers formed beseeching you for food and salvation.  Upon hearing the news of their three departed fellow citizens, a couple of people broke down in obvious sorrow.  The rest seemed unaffected by this news.

As the crowd pressed closer and closer, the sound of a lute suddenly struck up and changed the mood of the villagers immediately.  I know, another f’ing Bard.  There he was, leaning up against one of the stones strumming away.  He was dressed in bright garb that was in ill repair.  He approached and introduced himself as the Cuckoo.  He had an odd raspy voice as if he has sustained some sort of a smoke inhalation injury.  Terse in his answers, he directed you to the Elder Murdows as had Tanasha.

Murdows lived in the only two story house in the village.  It was the largest building there next to the Grange (mill/barn) and Dyson’s tower.  After knocking on the door a younger women with unusually large brown eyes open the door.  She seemed quite timid and her eyes darted everywhere trying to take everything in.  After declaring your intention, she ran off and got Murdows.

Murdows seemed to be the only villager not suffering from malnutrition.  He immediately launched in a praise of the gods for you coming as the agents of their salvation.  He then gave a lengthy monologue describing the coming of the horsemen, the attacks of the elves and then the elven treachery at the attempted parlay.  He concluded with beseeching your for help and offered an empty cottage for your use.

Just when the shit could not get any more weird, Murdows suddenly went down with an arrow sticking out of his chest.  Before anyone could react, three hawks suddenly came swooping down.  Io and Snorri ran for cover, Ell fired his crossbow, Tore tried to commune with the hawks and Willy stayed invisible.

My personal favorite moment of the night happened next when Tore was standing there trying to focus on the hawks as Ell and Io continued to fire away.  A giant and I mean a giant owl came swooping in and picked up Tore.  (I did roll Tore’s opposed listen check against the owl’s move silently ability, but the owl got +8 on this so no dice Tore baby.)

The owl then tried to wing away with Tore.  Io reacting as only she does, immediately fired two arrows striking the owl.  The owl in turned dropped Tore who plunged 60 feet to the ground.  All of the birds peeled off their attacks.  The last thing you saw was a small dark elf running from behind one of the stones into the woods.

As this was all going on, a tawny haired fighter type ran out of the base of Dyson’s tower trying to shrug her arm out of a sling while trying to draw her sword.  When it was clear that the threat was over she ambled over to Ell as he was the most obvious fighter of the group and started talking shop.  You then met Dyson and had a brief conversation with him (at least Ell and Snorri did that is).

From these various sources you learned that the following landmarks are near the town:

1)      The Standing Stones
2)      The Chapel
3)      Red Horse Hill
4)      The Great Barrow
5)      The Silence Keepers

This is what you have learned so far.  There could be more for all that you know.

You also learned that the forest to the North was thinner as a result of some sort of dragon attack in days of yore and that the Great Barrow is the tomb of a great warlord who once ruled this region.  There were also some scattered bits about the possibility of some link between the horseman and the elves and between the horseman and the Great Barrow.

Also, Willy climbed Dyson’s tower and found a large sundial on top along with a locked trap door.

Finally in the middle of the night, you met Eli, the helpful townsperson.  He has small dark eyes with a very narrow face.  He stands out to you with his furtive gestures and movements.  He seems very eager to help and brought you some blankets and firewood.

We picked up in Ossington with you guys getting reading for the upcoming day.  You decided that you would take Eli with you and hit up Tully for some help finding the Great Barrow.  After a quick stop at Dyson’s tower, off you went into the woods with Tully and Eli in tow.

About an hour or so away from town, you came upon the skeletons of six elves.  There were some signs of violence, but nothing else of any forensic significance.  When asked, Tully merely shrugged saying such is war.

Moving forward into a clearing you found the horseman waiting for you.  He charged immediately and slashed Tully.  Snorri replied with a fire attack and Tore unleashed his chastise spirits attack.  Before dispelling the ghost, Tore noticed that the rider’s cloak was pinned with some sort of symbol, but he was too far away to make it out.

Tore then healed Tully and on you pushed.  With Ell in the lead, he found a cleverly hidden pit trap.  He fell in, but fortunately made his fortitude save staving off a blinding disease.

Shortly thereafter, you all felt the effects of some sort of magical spell.  Only Io and Ell actually felt its effects.  They saw two visions – the first was your party leaving Ossington the way you had come no worse for the wear, the second showed your going forward to your doom.

After shrugging off this warning, an arrow went whizzing past Tore’s head.  He then set off in the direction from which the arrow flew.  Willy did the same all invisible like.  Because of his moving so silently, Will got the drop on the elven archer who had apparently fired the arrow.  Willy watched as Tore walked past the location of the elf while the elf did nothing but watch.  Willy then snuck up on the unsuspecting elf and cut his throat after giving him a “don’t move.”  Tore heard the ruccas and hurried over to find Willy standing over the dead elf.     

A few minutes later, you finally made it to the gigantic earthen mound that is the Great Barrow.  Snorri translated the inscription on the lintel stone as well as the words to a partial poem inside the entrance room to the barrow itself.  As Tully described, you found the battered remnants of a skeleton wearing chain armor.  Tully proudly pointed to the corpse, much to Io’s disgust.  Io decided to stay outside as the rest of you plunged in.  After activating a trap that triggered a sliding wall, you changed tactics and had Willy lead with his awesome rolls and all.

He walked face first into a Wight, got a good slashing for his effort, but fortunately Snorri crisped the thing with more flaming rays.  Onward you pushed into the dark and winding corridors of the barrow aided by a light rock created by Tore.  You were ambushed by an Earth Elemental but were able to defeat it with a combination of Ell’s hacking and Tore’s spear/chastising.

Shortly thereafter, another Wight popped up in front to you.  Willy fled and Ell fought.  He was hit and then did not make his fortitude save causing him to lose a level.  Once again, Tore blasted away with his chastise ability and the Wight was destroyed.  Willy, Tore and Ell pushed forward, but unfortunately, Willy failed to find the crushing walls trap and the three of you took a good smashing.

Snorri then decided that he had enough of the Barrow and turned to leave.  Everyone followed.  You then huddled up outside of the Barrow trying to decide what to do next.  Tore did not have any healing left and needed to meditate in order to get more.  Io generously offered up one of her three wishes from her luck blade to help try and get Ell’s level back.  After much caucusing, Ell made his wish and it was granted.  He was again 7th level but had aged 15 years as a result.  Tore then rested and did some healing.  You then returned to town without further event.

We started out back in Ossington.  Tore had to chill for a few days to get the spells necessary to heal everyone up.  In the meantime, Snorri, Willy and Io visited Dyson to ask some questions.  After again hearing Dyson’s theory that there is some connection between the rider and the barrow, you all decided to head out toward Red Horse Hill.

After circumnavigating some trees that tried to block your path, you encountered the rider again.  When Tore tried to approach, the rider used his telekinesis ability and flung Tore 100 feet in the air.  After bouncing, Tore chastised him followed up with some pink missiles from Snorri.  The rider again vanished.

Pushing on, Ell was scratched with some poison but made the save so was no worse for the wear.

You then arrived at the hill and the tarn that lies in front of it.  Once again, your friend the rider appeared.  When no one moved to attack (well done that) he rode across the surface of the tarn and then sank while giving you some sort of salute.  Tore and Io using under water breathing items investigated and found the skeleton of a horse and rider but with the skull of the rider missing.  The only untarnished remain was a holy symbol of Tyr that was around the skeletons neck.

Wisely, Tore gathered up all of the bones and then performed a proper burial for the horse and rider.  Tore immediately knew this was the right thing to do.  The experience was so powerful that Tore’s alignment changed to NG.
 
With this new information in hand, elements of the group became distrustful of Eli.  After plying him, he did not have anything new to say.  Everyone leveled up because of the good play and then you spent the night on the hill.  During the night, you did spot a Hobyah watching you from the trees.

The next day you all decided that it was time to head back to town.  Once back in the trees, you had yet more Hobyah sightings.  Suddenly and without warning, six of the little shits attacked.  They used their cause fear abilities which took everyone but Ell and Tore out of the fight.  Tore stabbed Ell with his flame spear and then Ell was poisoned by a bit.  After killing four of the little fuckers, the other two fled.

WTF?

Not long after, you were again confronted with two trees that moved to block your path.  Snorri was hit with a sleep arrow and the ambush started in earnest.  Io realizing that they were under attack from the wild elves, did not return fire even when hit in the shoulder with an arrow.  She then made more obvious conciliatory gestures which was key.  A pixie stepped out of the bush and read Io’s mind.  The pixie then signaled to his brethren to cease fire.

This was a certainly a fight to avoid.  In all, there was one elven ranger, two elven arcane archers, one elven sorcerer, one pixie and a treant who had animated two trees which you were already familiar with.  I am not sure that you guys would have survived that one. 

After the truce, you heard the elves side of the story.  They told you that they had been attacked by the villagers, not the other way around.  You then decided to continue back to town.

Rod was late, very late.  A plan was hatched to return to town and find out what’s what.  Eli got wind and bolted.  Io chased him down and killed him to death.  Snorri was going to try and bluff Dyson.  Rod ate some fish.

You observed that Ossington was silent as you approached.  Once in town, all of the villagers attacked.  Ell killed all of them.  Dyson fired back with a  fire ball and then a cone of cold.  Ell and Tore went down.  Io ran for help and Snorri hid.  Snorri then fired a nasty fireball killing Henwen and Dyson.  The Cuckoo, really a Vrock, fled.  Willy scaled the tower in an effort to help his fallen comrades.

Tully popped up next to Snorri pretty pissed at his killing her master.  She nearly killed Snorri, but Io came to the rescue.  A combination of arrows and pink missiles took care of Tully.

Snorri raised Tore and Tore wished Ell back.  Willy got some stuff, Snorri a ring and Tore aged 10 years.  Ell, Tore and Jemaine are at 7th level, Snorri, Willy and Io are at 8th.

Dyson was turning animals into people as a part of a larger plot that spans the realms.
 

Recrap of Family Reunion in Oakland

Io and Tore really want to get to the bottom of the church of the blue penis, so they hung back while the Fab Four trod off west.  The FF had a nice roadie on a safe road through safe country.  It was a nice change of pace from the usual crap storms you’re amid.

After a few days you came to the little wooden sign to “Oakland”.  El told you all that his sister LaTrina lives there with his nephew Lymon.  You all agreed it would be a nice place to spend the night.

Oakland is a tiny, sleepy little thorp located just within the sheltering eaves of a great forest. Home to an extended family clan of farmers and woodcutters, the community was founded within living memory and since its creation the inhabitants have known only peace and prosperity.

Unfortunately, and unknown to you all, just two nights before, as the good folk of Oakland prepared for the annual harvest, Keith the vampire’s castle home was invaded by the Band of the Hand. Although the party did not achieve its goal of slaying the vampire himself, they managed to drive him from his lair and force him to flee into the night with only the barest fraction of his former resources in tow (i.e. four real stiffs with broadswords). Unfortunately for the good folk of Oakland, theirs was the community onto which the vampire stumbled first, and it was here that the fiends took refuge. The little settlement offered the displaced vampire all that he needed: shelter from the hateful light of the sun, a selection of new servants, and a supply of fresh mortal blood.

Even in his weakened condition, Keith alone was more than a match for the inhabitants of the thorp; but his best hope of survival was not in conquest, but in secrecy. He planned to hide in Oakland until he believed it safe to leave; then, he could begin plotting his revenge on Padimon and his compatriots who brought him to this lowly state. As for the citizens of the thorp, they were all but helpless in the face of this powerful enemy. The vampire had already slaked his unholy thirst on one of their number (some tart named LaTrina), and his minions had taken hostages to ensure that the inhabitants did as they were told. All the folk of Oakland hoped that Keith will take what he wanted and then leave them in peace, but few of them believed that such hopes were realistic. Until Keith had satisfied himself that the coast is clear, Oakland—and its people—belonged to him.

But it’s cool, because the Fab Four arrived, and they’ll sort it all out.

As you approached you met the steadfast Lou.  He had been dominated by Keith and was on watch for unwelcome visitors, like, say the BOTH.  He gave unsatisfactory answers, and you eventually moved on after El gave the order to Fuck Lou.

Once into town you got the bad news.  LaTrina had died.  She took ill.  Her husband Ted was drunk with distraughtiness, and no one could quite say where Lymon was.  After the order to Fuck Vandra, you went to the graveyard.  Sure as shit, there was LaTrina’s fresh grave.  Bummer.

Dutifully, El went looking for Lymon.  Night was falling after all.

Meanwhile, Keith was asleep in his coffin right under your feet in the Plow’s root cellar.  His pal Elroy was standing guard, and didn’t get phased by Jemaine’s questioning.  You all did a nice job trying to figure out what was going on.  You even considered exhuming LaTrina.  Jemaine took a position on a rooftop, and darkness descended.  The shit moved quickly to the fan at that point.

Once night fell, Keith woke up and got a briefing from his posse.  They told him you had arrived.  He summoned some bats to harry Jemaine, then set into action a plan to pick you each off one by one.  He called a pack of wolves, and readied himself to slam your asses.

As Jemaine dealt with a swarm of bats, the sentries closed in, and then Elroy emerged.  When the time was right they all attacked at once.  Then the wolves came.  You did a nice job getting invisible and being ready.  Snorri, who kicked ass basically all night, lit the Wolves (and El, a little) up with a fireball.  That took them all down to one hit point.  El took it from there with super America combo attack.  Willy wisely went exploring.  He found where the children were being held hostage, and freed them in one of the scariest episodes they’ll ever experience.  Then he freed the horses.  Thank god for that.  Jemaine was busy tweaking his cauliflower ears and throwing townies off his back.

Meanwhile, Keith was ready to join the party.  He utilized his nasty slam attack which drained a couple levels off El.  Then he dominated El and ordered him to kill himself.  El dutifully obeyed.  Snorri would eventually be slammed down to level zero and Jemaine felt the pain as well.  You did urn the tide, and thanks mostly to Snorri’s scorching rays, Keith called in his newest spawn, the vampiress LaTrina.  They beat the piss out of El and Snorri, and were well on their way to killed off the party, when Snorri busted out the max damage attack, and Keith had no choice but to go gaseous form.  He flew to his coffin, healed up (he also regenerated 5 hp per round anyway) and came back for more delicious blood.  He managed to bite Snorri, and Jemaine (?), and things were looking dark again.

Then the horns sounded.  The BOTH arrived just in time.  Padimon ran LaTrina through, Ello dispatched Keith, Greywolf quickly had the field overgrow their corpses, and Eire pinned everyone down with black tentacles.  Classic BOTH maneuver #7.

The BOTH then did all it could to help the FF and Oakland.  The town was restored and beautified by Ello’s troupe.  Greywolf harvested the crops and recalled the livestock and horses.  Eire healed up Willy and set him up with a nice potion.  Jemaine, El, and Snorri were all healed and given an upgrade.  By daybreak, you were all 9th level, and Oakland was looking downright pretty.  Ok, sure, half the population was dead, and everyone was a bit freaked out.  But it’ll all work out.

You divided up Keith’s wicked sweet treasure, and more importantly, El took on the ward Lymon DeBarge-Olfa.  He’s a welcome addition to the group.  He admires his uncle, and is happy to being leaving Oakland.  He’ll make a nice bootlick.
 

Ruthy: How I long to have my taco filled with the appropriate ground beef filling.

Philo: I love pudding.

Ruthy: A red fish, a green fish and a blue fish.

Philo: One on top and one down below.

Ruthy: Philo, strap on the Popsicle sticks, I am ready for another toss.

Philo: Ever been to Utah?

Ruthy: (In a stern tone) Philo, concentrate. Mama is ready for more cheese wiz.

Philo: But Ruthy, what about your family. Your mother frightens me.

Ruthy: Sack up Philo! By Gond you piss me off.

Philo: Ruthy, why must you always be so verbally abusive. I am just a love struck Halfling trying to find a bit of happiness.

Ruthy: Boo Hoo! Look Philo. I am not with you for your charm or your wit. Now give me the knockwurst!

Philo: What about all the tender words we shared as we fall asleep?

Ruthy: Well, that’s pillow talk baby. You understand.

Philo: I am against both mayonnaise and mustard on the same sandwich.

Ruthy: By Sune’s locks, Philo, please try to stay on task. What does a chick have to do to get a little pole?!?

Philo: Have you ever heard of cuddling or maybe just being nice to me?

Ruthy: Screw that, I need sausage!

Philo: But Ruthy, what of our love? Our love was to be a symbol of the union between our two races. It was to be an example, a beacon in the dark, a hope for a new beginning.

Ruthy: Maybe for you. I just wanted to try a different flavor of meat whistle. Now butter my muffin!

Philo: I am forsaken. I must depart on a long journey in order to find myself and to heal my broken heart.

Ruthy: So long sucker!

THE END

Unfortunately, an assassin took this uproarious scene as an opportunity to strike. Quietly approaching Marcus from the rear, he stuck him with a poisoned dagger. This assailant then fled leaving Eire to attempt to care for the stricken Marcus. Kennit pursued while the rest of the party, excepting Ketra who was on a romantic moonlit walk with Heino, provided aid to Marcus.

Kennit followed an easy and clear track for several hundred yards. He quickly realized from the type of footprints that he was following an elf. After coming around a copse of trees, Kennit was confronted with a handsome Drow elf who introduced himself as Mourn the Drow and suggested that Kennit leave off his pursuit if he valued his life. Apparently Kennit did in fact value his life and decided to back off. When Kennit returned, he found that Ello had been able to revive Marcus and that it looked like he would be fine.

Much troubled by this attack, Heino decided to do some investigating. The next night, he gathered the party to inform them what he had found. Philip the bard had found a "wanted" notice informing any would be bounty hunters of a 20,000 g.p. bounty on "Marco Volo" or "Marcus Wands" for a theft of an item owned by the wizard Sabbas. The notice also informed that "Volo" was traveling with a troupe of players in northern Cormyr. Naturally, Heino was much troubled by this news. He ordered the caravan to break camp immediately and take the Stonebolt trail north in order to avoid Tilverton and get to Shadowdale safely.

As the caravan was making its way in the dark, Marcus finally came clean. He informed the party that he had stolen an item or wand that looked valuable from Sabbas and hid it in the Spiderhaunt woods near Shadowdale. Further, in order to cover his tracks, he sent Sabbas a letter claiming that Volothamp Geddarm had stolen the item. The ruse worked to a point, but unfortunately for Marcus, Sabbas was convinced that Marcus was Volothamp. Now Marcus feels awful about getting the party involved in his mess. He still does not realize that the party had been hired by his uncle to watch over him. Marcus thinks that party is with him for purely altruistic reasons.

Regardless, the troupe and party moved north on the Stonebolt trail. As they approached the Shadow Gap, the entrance to the Dales, they were hailed by two Orc's requesting parlay. Before the party could respond, a familiar figure rode up behind the Orcs, the hated Felibarr!

Felibarr told the party that it had two choices, turn over the thief Marcus in exchange for 5,000 g.p or die. While delivering this offer, Felibarr informed the party much of what they already knew about Marcus, such as the fact that he is a noble from Waterdeep and that he stole something from Sabbas. Despite this, the party refused to give up Marcus. Then, it was on.

A vicious battle ensued involving the entire troupe dozens of Orcs the party and six powerful N.P.C.s. The core of the battle was composed of the party against the N.P.C.s led by Felibarr. Quite a battle it was. In addition to the formidable Felibarr, there was a human mage, a Drow mage, a fighter type, a thief type and a crazed female cleric.

Eire was essentially taken out of the melee right away when he failed his saving throw on a silence spell. He got back out of the fighting and threw darts. Felibarr unleashed his "blacklance" spell and Hugo took out one of the wizards with a poisoned arrow.

Ketra engaged the fighter and Kennit got into a arrow fire fight with the thief. The crazy bitch cleric crossed maces with Ello. Little did she know that he had a shoulder mounted anti-aircraft mace that fires a series of meteors and any would be assailant. After being nearly killed in one fell swoop, she was forced to retreat. Hugo was hit with several magic missile spells and went down. Ketra took so much punishment that she was forced to retreat. Eire got Felibarr with a sweet poisoned dart and took him out. The severely wounded cleric was finished off resulting in the thief and the Drow wizard both fleeing. However, the powerful Drow wizard promised retribution before teleporting out.

Shortly thereafter, Hugo was revived and everyone else healed up as well as could be. Just a few hundred yards up the trail the party found Felibarr's camp which had a large chest of coins and many gems. This likely was the payroll for the thugs that Felibarr had hired.

We left off with the party and Heino's troupe in the Shadow Gap, just a half day's ride from the Spider Haunt woods where Marcus told you he had hid the thing he had stolen.

Very nice job everyone. Seriously, I was impressed with the consistent good decisions. You could have foolishly attacked that Dragon, could have done something stupid at the custom's house, could have attacked the Purple Dragons, and could have refused Heino's offer of aid. You did the right thing every time though.

We are getting very near the end. You now know just about everything you need to know, except what exactly Marcus stole and what to do with the item if you are able to recover it. I am probably not going to give any pre-play instructions other than the following: 20,000 g.p is quite a reward. That is likely to bring every thug, harlot, varlet or reprobate in Faerun running. Sabbas is also a very powerful M.U. He makes Felibarr look like Eire. There is information on Sabbas in the F.R. boxed set I believe. Finally, my poison count. I gave Eire and Hugo each 10 doses of Wyvern poison. Eire used four and Hugo six in that last battle. Trying to use poison when you do not have any left is akin to calling a timeout when you have none left - a technical foul.

I would like to play next Saturday if that is agreeable with everyone. I think that would be fun. That way, we (I) could drink with impunity and not have to worry about getting up the next day. Also, with one good session, we should be finished. I propose that we start a 6:00 at my house next Saturday. Please let me know if this works.

Again, great job last night.

Alex 10/21/02


Recrap of The Ghost Tower of Inverness

The BOTH re-entered the smoking tower, and dispelled the magic of the arcane bead curtain. Behind the curtain were two of the most evil and demonic creatures that the BOTH have come across.

Two 12’ tall lesserdaemons, with huge polearms, moved in to attack. Eire lobbed a lightening bolt at one of them, which bounced off, and collapsed a section of the wall and ceiling. The rest of the BOTH dealt with the larger one. The battle was interrupted several times by the creatures disappearing, and then reappearing to attack. Kitty reported that the daemons were using invisibility to surprise the party with their swinging polearms. After a bloody melee, the daemons disappeared for good into thin air.

The party then came upon 5 cubicles in a dead end wall, which transported each of them to a checkerboard patterned room with a statue on the other side. Upon stepping onto each new square, the square glowed white, and the party advanced out of the room.

The party decided to rest and pray. Ello popped the zipper of his platemail, and Ketra obliged with a vigorous flogging of his dolphin. After a brief rest, the party was surprised by the daemons, but, this time, the BOTH made quick work of them. The party then came to a dead end, impassable door of gleaming blueish-gray metal, with a square indentation at waist level. The BOTH backtracked.

In another tower, the BOTH were confronted with hounds from hell, which gated in as the party cased the room. The next room contained 5 ice lizards, which seemed to be in an inanimate temporal stasis. Upon entering the room, one lizard animated, and attacked. Padimon quickly disposed of it, and began beheading the rest of the motionless lizards, bringing the remaining ones to life. They were easily killed, but not before one was able to breathe its frosty breath onto most of the party. A sarcophagus on one wall of the room contained a small, blueish-gray piece of steel, seemingly made of the same material as the impassable door.

With one of the 4 pieces of the key, the BOTH recalled that it had not fully investigated the treasure chest from the Umber Hulk room. It contained the second piece of the key, and the BOTH pressed on with renewed enthusiasm.

In another tower, a huge boulder squished Padimon into Paddy pudding before the party’s very eyes. After Padimon slapped Ello on the shoulder, the party realized that this was simply an illusory ball, and no harm would come to those in its path. The next room contained a dead manticore’s lair, with a few rotting corpses (one wearing some sweet chainmail and wicked boots), and also a pouch containing potions, a scroll, and the third key.

The BOTH debated about where the final piece of the key must lie within the ruins. Kennit led the party into the 8’ crystal ball room, but after investigating this section of the ruins, only the impassable door was encountered.

Back in the checkerboard room, Kennit performed his own five knuckle shuffle. A misstep by Ketra caused the square in which she stood to glow a burning red, zapping her for minimal damage. The party figured that moving according to the chess piece of their starting position would mitigate any damage. The stone statue was tossed over, and out popped the fourth and final piece of the key!

After placing the completed key into the impassable door, it opened to a gleaming blueish-gray metallic room. The party entered, and the doors slammed shut. Colors swirled before their eyes, and an opening suddenly appeared in the ceiling where nothing had been before. The gate to the ghost tower of Inverness had been engaged!

Up the poopy chute the party climbed, Padimon leading the way, and a strange, misty, airy environment was found. Kitty’s superior infravision saw something perched 40’ above the ground, and the party investigated to find an iron spiral staircase. While Padimon and Ello climbed, three prehistoric birds attacked. They were no match for the BOTH, however, and the party continued up the stairs.

The staircase broke through a ceiling in the foggy level, and onto an earthly level of rich soil, tall trees, and thick underbrush. A maze-like path was followed, leading to a 20’ by 20’ clearing, where a robed, human figure tended her bed of roses. Padimon sensed her great evil, and rushed forth to melee. She heard his footsteps, turned and pulled down her hood to reveal the stony gaze of Medusa. Lucky for the rest of the party, Padimon’s girth prevented the rest of the BOTH from seeing the gaze of Medusa as she turned to face the charging Padimon. After Padimon was turned to stone, the rest of the party moved in, carefully avoiding her gaze. Kennit used his wondrous wand, and shrunk himself to 12 inches in height. Medusa was hacked to death, and her head was thrown into the undergrowth. Ketra investigated the rose garden, and fell into a deep sleep after brushing up against the thorny thorns of the roses. Eire grabbed Kennit, and attempted to use his dildo-sized friend to revive Ketra, touching her in her most luscious and sensitive spot. This came to no avail, and Ketra continued to dream away (DM inserted embellishment). This is where we left off.

A few questions remain:

The great gem must reside somewhere in the ghost tower, but where?
What type of jackass created such an illusory-filled ruins?
What mind fucks await the party as they venture up through the rest of the tower?
Was the magical recall amulet, given to you by the Seer, which I believe Padimon was carrying, also turned to stone?

Rod 11/25/02


Recrap of The Castle Spulzeer

Holy shit.

There are few instances throughout history when the person responsible for chronicling an amazing event is able to capture the moment. Last night can never be put into words, so I am happy just to try and retell it, for to relive it through the written word would be to deprive it of its beauty and primacy.

The night began innocently enough. But quietly watching us, was a lone bottle of Nighttrain. It did not shout out for attention, for it knew that it would be the one bottle to rule them all. It stood over a lump of beige fudge, dozens of bottles of beer, and a few pizzas - like it was a Caesar.

The plan for the evening was for the BOTH to get from Moonhearth to Castle Spulzeer. Because Sean was absent, Ann Marie played his character, until she got confused - so Andy took over. That was when the Nighttrain's faint laughter could first be heard. On our first day on the road there was a well-orchestrated - and successful assassination attempt on Hugo. One villain lay in the road feigning mortal injury. When the party was drawn in, his comrade attacked with lethal poison arrows. One pierced Hugo's arm, and the poison killed him. The other then attacked Ketra with a poison dagger - and killed her as well. Inside an hour two party members were dead and we weren't 20 miles down the road. The Nighttrain sat up on its hind legs and cackled.

Lea read the scroll of resurrection and brought Hugo back to life. Ketra was given an Elixir of Health, and was revived likewise. The party killed the villains and Kennit quickly strapped on their gauntlets. Tea was hysterical, and things were not going well. The Nighttrain fixed its gaze on Ann Marie and bore into her soul. It msut have possessed her, because some of things that came out of her mouth were unexplicable.

Camping that night, Tea tried to fondle Padimon's rod of justice. Once rebuffed, she hopped into Eire's sleeping bag - and the black anaconda was released. As Tea struggled for air underneath the dripping Jerry Curl, Tea's virginity passed into the darkness. Only the faint light off the end of Eire's Newport revealed his sin. The Nighttrain was almost gone.

The next day the party was attacked by horse thieves who made off with Kennit's ride. After a half-hearted pursuit the party regrouped. Hugo tortured and killed a horse thief prisoner without gathering any useful information. Kennit realized he couldn't take the stolen gauntlets off, and Lea casted a spell allowing him to do so. As the rear lights on the Nighttrain caboose faded out of view, Senor Tequila and some skank in overalls named SoCo started to polka in the corner.

Finally the party made it to hillfort Keshla. Kennit bought a new horse and the party kept moving. Wisely, the party chose to take the South Road. Suddenly a flaming skull approached and scorched the entire group. Eire was burned to a crisp and lost all his clothes. Naked and afraid, Eire turned to check on kitty - who was now hairless. Not to worry, Eire quickly jammed his wand into kitty's mini-donut, and as the 'mmeeeeeeoooowwws' fell on our ears, we knew that kitty was fine. That's right Sean-o, you fucked your cat.

The BOTH came across some suspicious farmers, but deftly moved on, not looking for a fight. Hillfort Torbold was the next stop. A brief stay at an inn, and the BOTH was off. Just outside sight of the fort, the party was attacked by eight hill giants. This was a horrible battle. Horrible because everyone was too drunk to realize you were in a terrible fighting position - outnumbered and overpowered. Amazing, the party made it through and killed them all - along with a direwolf. The party made it to Trailstone and the Spulzeer Inn where Eire was able to lick his wounds, nail Tea, and his kitty.

On the short trail to Castle Spulzeer the party came across several troubling mutated animals and life forms. The party fought off two wyverns on guard duty. The road was cold and gray and an unnatural presence hovered over the group. By then we were all hoarse, drunk, and insane - a good place to stop, no?

For some reason, the real loser was Rob, who took a real beating. One of my favorites was when Alex went to the bathroom to shit and the group warned him to make sure he sat on the toilet, because Rob was probably sitting on the floor with a toilet seat around his neck and a funnel in his mouth. I also liked how Andy would hum the Mission Impossible theme every time someone would mention ass, shit, poop, hole, or, as the night wore on...colon.

Ann Marie also really shone. Toward the end of the night she rolled a 1, but saw an 11. Nighttrain is your master girl. Rod was a close second when he tried to get poison from the dead Wyverns' teeth. When he was informed that Wyverns have stingers like scorpions, he quickly said 'then I'll milk his tail'. Smooth.

Steve was also introduced to the Gamehole. His girlfriend got a nice phone call from Steve's gay lover in Madison. I'm sure that will work out well. At least he didn't have to sit through ten thousand, 'seriously you fuckers' like the rest of us.

On a halfway serious note, some of you did some very intelligent things. Padimon killed six hill giants - that ain't bad. Kennit did use his ranger abilities to detect the horse thief ambush, and as a result you all only lost one horse. Padimon correctly suggested the party not mess with the guys gathering wolf bane. Rod remembered that Ketra had an elixir of health - which quite simply saved her life. Hugo tested his arrows with the glimgauntlet, covering himself and Andy with well-deserved praise. Ann Marie was wise to be so kind to Tea and Lea - tending to them has resulted in more healing and potions than any of you have realized. Hugo cleverly described his mission and dispelled doubt regarding the assassination attempts when being interrogated by Padimon.

On the flip side, Kennit did put on a gauntlet of fumbling for Christ's sake. Padimon couldn't protect Tea's cherry, and, well, Eire fucked a cat. Ketra meanwhile, is still crosseyed trying to figure out what to do when she rolls a 20.

You now find yourselves staring up at Castle Spulzeer. You all need to rethink why you are here, and what you hope to accomplish inside. This is going to be the hardest, or one of the hardest, episodes you have been through. You will not all survive. Those who do will do so through quick, but correct action. I think we will be able to finish next time, but it may a slightly longer session, so maybe we should shoot for Saturday again. Let me know how that works for everyone.

I have not laughed so hard for so long in years. Saturday night really kicked ass. You are all very funny, and I sit back and marvel at how fun we can make all this. No wonder I jones for D&D the whole work week.

I look forward to everyone chiming in with details I have forgotten or omitted. Fuck, we could write a book about this one.

Nutson


Recrap of The Ruins of Undermountain

Gather round Lads for a have a tale for ye! Stories of alcohol induced crab crawls await ye! And this has been my favorite DMing session so far and I think this will only get better...

The Band of the hand is at it again. After a few months of training and mourning for the loss of two of their members they happen to be strollin down the street in the north end of the trade ward of the City of Splendors. A familiar voice called to them from the Forest spirit Cafe, volothamp Geddarm. AS always, ol volo kept a low profile and was teeming with gossip. Unfortunately the gossip got cut short because of a couple of goons sent by masker wands entered the cafe. These Fair goons (DRINK) were calling upon the BOTH for some item or another (DRINK); the band was called upon by Masker Wands to solve a problem of the utmost importance. Maztica recently had been hit hard by the slave trade. (Just think West Africa a couple hundred years ago) Well Ol Fernando and his main shaman, Jose was pissed and came into Waterdeep as "diplomats" to try to solve this problem. A council of Helms was to be the meeting and discussion of the problem at hand. Prior to this though the BOTH met some pretty interesting folks; A Renegade Drow named Drizzt and his two companions, the ugly ranger Asner and the Teen Wolf named.... Wolf. Very earthy, naturists..Yeah you get the picture. The latter two were accepted quickly into the band of the hand. Next came Orbasius and Grazielle with their "Companion" called Lily White. She was promptly drilled with Questions especially by padimon because she was from the "dark side of town" Drizzt had known the slaver in question, Malakuth, as they were growing up, so he was able to give some information about him. Orbasius and Grazzielle were Waterdeep Nobles, and claimed to know a bit about Malakuth. They brought their "waitress" Lily to join the band of the hand. I don’t recall if they offered to lend you their short order cook as well, but that is neither here nor there.

The Council of helms was my favorite scene of the night. Fernando was one pissed off Maztican. The garb perhaps daunted Ello and entrance of these folks all the feathers and pelts would make a pimp daddy jealous. And the snow white feathered snakes in tow..... Well, Ello has a lot of feathered boas but none that fly on their own.... jealousy?

Anyways Fernando stated his case and of course Mr. Clear Sky was quick to jump up and question. As a result of his questions and accepting the task he gets 10 J-loes (with Bazzombas the size of coconuts) and a cog full of pineapples.

So the band has decided to take the task (AK1 Descent to Skullport) As the BOTH left, walking back to their homes to get ready for the adventure, they were ambushed by (DUN DUN DUN) the Black Viper. A cloud of smoke came up and items were yoked from certain members: Ello lost his Amulet and Kennit got his wand lifted. Kennit, being on the edge of the smoke was able to discern the direction of the assailant (don’t I sound like a cop trying to use big words? maybe not) so he bolted after the Viper as if possessed. First to follow was Eire and Wolfie.... Kitty acted as the LAPD chopper from above in hot pursuit. Asner was a bit hungry for some stonework so he ran through the smoke into the side of a building. Ello and Padimon wondered why all the sudden the mist rose so early in the evening..... And I don’t recall if a crab crawl was done here by lily, sorry.....

Anyway, the party followed to Durnan's Yawning Portal; the most well known entrance to the Undermountian upon entering Eire Descended as fast as possible. But first he had to let them drag up a beaten up adventurer from a group called "the Black Banners" Rod the Wolf questioned him briefly as the stump of his left hand spilt his life on the floor... what a mess. Wolfie they healed him a bit as well which was very nice of him. But fuck the inn; lets enter the portal shall we?

All the sudden, the player’s vision blurs a touch more.... they descend 160 ft down into the ruins...No, they didn’t fall, they were LOWERED down. Into a sand filled room. Lily, think she is a fiddler crab decides to do a crazy crab crawl.... WOW. Remind Kennit to never take her to the beach, folks. I guess that is better than going to the corner and using it as a litter box......

Into the dungeon...Lily uses her ability to find a stone block drop trap down the corridor from the entry about 50 ft (Hmmm..... how come that black banner guy didn’t set it off, that was the only way in and out of the room...) ah well, probably nothing. Anyways, Lily decides she is more noble and courageous than Padimon and takes point for a while. I think the Crab Crawl must have done something.... maybe there was magic anti Crab dust in the sand, I don’t know... anyways they enter into a hall of mirrors, this time Lily Hangin back...unfortunately one of the mirrors was a mirror of opposition and an Anti-Padimon came out ...for the first one.... the party managed to strike him down and Lily decide she wanted a body double so she walked in front of the mirror... soon the party was able to overtake the immitation crab meat and destroy the mirror. They scored a couple of potions which lay behind the mirror and scored a bunch of wounds as well...Eire, continued his quest for kennit down the hall as the fight was going on and he stumbled across a corpse which hid a goblin that surprised him firing and hitting him with a crossbow (good save on that one Seano matie) seano whipped out a missile weapon of his own (sheeeat) and utterly destroyed the goblin. The party found a map in a room that had a dead dude. Ello Spoke with the dead dude and the dead dude revealed to him (things start blurring a bit for the DM) there was a strige living in his helmet. Lily, looking for hermit crabs, lifted the helmet and got the shaft of the stirge buried into her eyeballs deep. Onward the party went.... coming to a dead end with an inscription which read immediately teleported the party to a strange watery temple a sahaugin temple to be exact with very good fishin.... a giant gar attacks and soon fresh fish was on the menu...The Big Bad wolf went to the statue, investigated and found the fishy guy had a swivel head...something was fishy and he decided to remove the head. On the one hand, he found a set of 3 rings, on the other, the removal of the head was seen as desecration to the temple and four baneguards were released. The party waxed them and pressed onward.... the fog of cinnamon rose up and gets thicker...down the hallway, the part goes and encounters a big lump in the floor, not a little one a GREAT BIG OUNE...this big lump reveals it has tentacles, perhaps testicles too, but The party wasn’t to concerned about identifying the sex of this creature because they knew it meant them no good. A battle ensues and Paddy fell with a gaping would to the chest, a monstrous bite from the roper right before Eire worked his testicles (sheeet) and fired his tentacles of his own at the creature...

This is second installment of the Descent to Skullport. This time the BOTH decided not to use much in the way of cheap liquid intoxicants and on a whole this served them well!

First off Paddy was dead and needed reviving so the BOTH pressed forward over the roper.... no wait back up.... and that’s what the BOTH did into the sahaugin temple room where they tore the place apart and attracted a pack of hellhounds. The BOTH got through them but not without severe casualties; the BOTH, one must understand is without their two fighters (where is kennit by the way perhaps he is tracking you? Or in Skullport? Or already down on the second level or perhaps a roper ate him?)

At any rate, NOW the Band of the hand pressed forward after Nutson Jumpstarted Lily with some ability checks.... soon they were going over the roper's body (yes the one that aced paddy) and soon Lily came back to the party after venturing out 10 feet, the three spell casters heard a faint "mommy" and in no time lily was back in the party's midst having journeyed about halfway out of the reach of the lantern... Ello's patience grew short and Lily grew bold. Up to the door they go and into the room the Druid GreyWolf went..... The chamber was an eternal resting spot with a nice bed, an open sarcophagus and a hungry grell which really gave Greywolf all he wanted and then some.... ol wolfie was a shiverin and shakin from its paralysis touch and it believed it had itself a nice meal, but the rest of the BOTH soon converged upon this brainy floating octopus and took it out. Lily von Stupp used her abilities YAY YAY to climb up a shaft in which the grell came out of and found a little lair with a case and within this case was a rod and a wand...Not a Rod like THE Rod, but it was thick and flesh like and soon in the caressing hands of Ello. This Rod was in fact a rod of resurrection and Paddy was POOF back in action! Of course Tyr had brought back that witless brute. Fuck you Ello, it was Tyr damn it.

Onward for more fun. The Band continues onward looking for a way down to another level so they come across the REAL Sarcophagus of the dude in the grell room and Eire and Lily von Stupp (Vow wow) decide that the way down to the next level lies within this grave. Unfortunately for them the breaking of the sarcophagus releases a 70 hp Guardian skeleton. Ouch and on top of that it wont die...they "destroy it" but it kept reforming and coming after them... Needless to say, ol Paddy and Ello weren’t too high on the grave robbin of the bitch and the Negro. Wolfie remained silent and stroked his black snake........

Onward the party went and found a group of dicing goblins that had a Mimic as a leader, weird huh? And one of the goblins chucked a fireball missile from a "necklace of __" and it sailed high over the charging folks head but exploded in the bulk of the party singing their whiskers and giving kitty a suntan to his hairless body....Wolfie got pissed and tuned into a bear. And just started wreckin shit including goblins.... someone get the boy some honey to cheer him up! Anyways after some scorchy scorchy some gobly goblins and another visit from the bonehead with a rusty scimitar, the party moved on... Understand this is a total of perhaps 200 ft.... from where they started...yes it really is a Dungeon crawl.

Onward now, the BOTH goes and Lily the Teutonic Titwillow is using her abilities left and right finding nothing here and nothing there but then she got a break finding a secret door into a huge chamber glowing with thrones along the wall ...they decided all this glowing and these chairs best be avoided and they skirted along the outside of the room and right into a drow temple of some offshoot servant-o Lolth male spider god. DROW. So the BOTH attacked, rescued a damsel in distress a very young elf from the high forest and the BOTH stayed around to thank the head priestess for the hospitality of their abode by kickin the shit out of her and her cronies.

Paddy wrecked the altar. The party scored a bit of sweet stuff.... including one hostage that led them into a statue room; the statue had a nasty habit of frying its inhabitants with lightning.... the Drow prisoner committed suicide because the DM didn’t want the BOTH to just race through the next level and get to skullport so quickly sorry... at any rate, the BOTH used a scrap of an old map and found the fabled sword the Flame of the North...and they left it where it lay. Interesting move. Soon they went back into the room o lightning bolts and quickly found a secret door into a room with six sleeping dwarves. They had a jug of wine and Wolfie wanted it. The DM, doing a shitty job, let it slip later on (but most likely the wine would have been forgotten in the bag of holding until the end of the journey or the End of the BOTH) that the wine was in fact wine of eternity a very rare brew created by the Illithid in fact...

Well fuck the six stupid sleepers. Lets move on. And on the BOTH did a camping night in the dungeon then descent to the lower lever and boom into a sheet of darkness they went. And poof everyone was teleported to another room. NOW< luck of the dice had it that Wolfie got the lead role in the next scene. He was teleported into a bubble with a sleeping elf maiden holding a staff ...the bubble was surrounded by 12 helmed Horrors but of course they looked just like big menacing statues to the BOTH.... the rest of the BOTH were in bubbles around the room as almost spectators to what was going to happen next. Wolfie mad a GOOD decision of trying to wake her up and she in turn gave him her staff and it was then on with the battle horrors within seconds of grasping the staff all the bubbles disappeared and wolfie was in a giant quisenart of swords...the BOTH to the rescue. Oh wait Lily "Isn’t IN the band of the Hand!" that’s right, you go girl! These motherfuckers were tough Paddy had his hands full and they got wolfie out of the circle of death and the track meet was on...wolfie ran and took a couple of them in pursuit...the other horrors attacked other party members Paddy and ello side by side toe to toe with the motherfuckers.... Eire turned into a Wraithform and the Horrors lost interest.... Lily decide to fight a while then became Suzy Favor Hamilton and decided the Wolfe distance running thing was the way to go... Sorry but the mental image of the absolute CHAOS of this room is not one I will soon forget... and Paddy finished em off... This is where the band ended...good job staying alive.

Andy 1/7/03

Recrap of Against the Giants

When we started, the Band of the Hand was nearing its objective of riding Hartsvale of the evil Giant menace. Deep in the bowels of the Hall of the Fire Giants, BOTH found themselves in an environment as foreign as anything they had ever experienced. The Underdark.

The dark was absolute. The silence deafening. A light source revealed the contours of natural tunnels and vaulted caverns. Light would also occasionally pick up a spot of luminescent lichen or other such growth. This was no ordinary dungeon crawl providing the comfort of knowing that the sun was but a matter of feet above. In all, the Underdark made all of the surface dwellers painfully aware that they were invaders and interlopers in this underground realm.

Undaunted, the BOTH pushed on. Having skirmished with a party of Drow in an upper level, the Band was intent on pursuing their believed quarry.

As a precautionary measure, Ello animated three undead Ettins to lead the party as it made its way through the winding passages. For light, Greywolf held forth his glowing scimitar which had been magically imbibed with everbright.

When the Band reached a cross-passageway, the leading Ettins were hit with a hail of small crossbow quarrels. This style of ambush could only mean one thing, Drow.

Fortunately, the famous Drow sleep poison has no affect on undead. At a command from their master, the Ettins waded in followed by Padimon, Kennit and Greywolf. This small war band of Drow were quickly wiped out because there were no exit tunnels through which the skulking Drow could flee.

After a standard protocol body loot, the Band pushed on.

Again, with the Ettins leading, the Band entered a large cavern with several different tunnels feeding into it. Again, the lead Ettins were hit with a hail of small bolts. What was different about this attack was that this was a much larger chamber and the Band was being hit by many more assailants.

At this point in the game, Nutson's chicken and green olive pizza arrived so we took a break to marvel at the fact that he could actually eat such a shitty pizza.

Then, getting back into the action, Padimon, Kennit, Mongo and Greywolf waded into the chamber along with the Ettins and Eire cast magic missile at one of the attackers. Eire was rewarded for his efforts by having to dodge a large glob of some sort of jelly like substance that was suddenly hurled at him. Realizing that this attack had come from beyond the initial line of melee combatants, Ello cast continual light, the bane of the Drow.

The light revealed roughly twenty assailants with three leader types in the back of the room, one of them an obvious wizard wielding a wand.

While the battle raged in the foreground, Eire and Ello attempted to cast spells at the leaders directing the fight. Unfortunately, the Drow's innate magic resistance rendered all such attacks ineffective. The melee combatants were faring much better though. The Drow fighters were simply no match for the Band on even well lit ground. The Drow were quickly routed and the leaders then came under direct attack.

Ello tried one last spell. He cast charm person on the wizard Drow. Having failed both his magic resistance and then his saving throw roll, the Drow fell under the power of the spell. Realizing that the spell was limited to a one word command, Ello ordered the enthralled Drow to masturbate, both effectively taking him out of the fight and pleasing his goddess, Sune.

The remaining Drow were then quickly dispatched and the bodies thoroughly looted. The Band was ready to move on in search of Eclavdra, the apparent leader of the invading Drow.

Apparently growing tired of the constant chiding that she was not doing anything, Lily then volunteered to explore ahead in bat form. After scouting a few smaller side chambers, she moved into a many arteried larger cavern. As she was so winging along, Lily was suddenly struck with a powerful mind blast rendering her unconscious causing her to revert to human form and fall to the ground below.

Meanwhile, the rest of the Band waited and waited and then waited some more. When Lily did not return, Greywolf offered to explore ahead (with the Ettins of course! This druid is nobody's fool.). As Greywolf entered this vaulted cavern, the light from his scimitar revealed a breath-takingly beautiful scene. The mineral deposits on the walls and ceiling made the place glitter and sparkle as if it were sown with jewels. Greywolf being the junior ranger Rick that he is would have taken a few moments to revel in this marvel if it were not for the horrid scene of three Mind Flayers hovering over the body of Lily with one of them sucking the brains out of her skull.

Greywolf promptly beat ass out of there back to the rest of the Band to report what he had seen. The Band then charged in an attempt to save their fallen "comrade." Fortunately, the rest of the party were able to make their various saving throws and the foul Illithids were defeated. However, it was too late for poor Lily. Realizing that this was beyond his abilities to heal, Ello suggested that Eire teleport Lily's body back to Waterdeep for proper internment. Gareth lifted all of Lily's possessions and her body was then so teleported.

The Band then pushed on with not so heavy hearts.

Another side chamber revealed itself shortly thereafter. Ahead, the party could make out the glow of what seemed to be a massive lava flow. After the many hours of absolute darkness, this was quite startling. Before moving toward the light, the Band explored this side chamber. It turned out to be another Drow guard post. The Drow therein were quickly turned into spicy sausage.

The Band then moved ahead to explore the lava flow. The flow was massive. It was at least 30 feet wide and ran the length of the chamber. The Band noted two Salamanders cavorting in the lava and a rope bride which was stretched across about 15 feet over the flow. The Band then decided that this would be a good time to camp. This decision caused The Rod to declare that the rest of the party were a bunch of pussies. Regardless, the majority carried the day and the Band retreated to the side chamber guard room for a few hours of rest in order to regain some spells.

Kennit had first watch and Gareth volunteered to take second. A song then entered the DM's head. Click here for the appropriate link: http://load.pquinn.com/binaries/fries/

Eire awoke to Kitty scratching him in apparent warning. When no enemy was readily apparent, the Band realized that Garth was missing. A quick check of possessions revealed that Eire's Bag of Holding was missing. Inside were his spell books and the combined acquired loot of the three Giant strongholds.

In a rage, Eire pursued with Kennit in tow. Eire cast locate object which revealed that his shit was making its way to the surface. Again, letting anger dictate his actions, Eire cast teleport on himself taking him to the gates of the Hall to await Gareth as she attempted to make he escape. After a few moments of waiting, Gareth appeared in bat form and quickly changed back into human form (Thanks Lil!) Because Eire made no effort to hide his presence, Gareth saw him as he spotted her. Eire won initiative and cast ice storm on Gareth, injuring her.

Gareth responded by firing her Drow pistol crossbow coated with Drow sleep poison. She hit Eire and down he went. When she attempted to move past his prone body, Kitty leapt to attack. Gareth then put a bolt in Kitty making Kitty reconsider his valor. With a laugh, Gareth dashed out of the gates, leaving the unconscious Eire and his butterfly winged cat.

Meanwhile, the rest of the Band was finishing a Hero's Feast conjured by Ello. The Band then re-approached the lava river. Ello then cast rainbow which created a fruity bridge over the flow making the rope bridge unnecessary.

Having crossed the flow, the remaining members of the Band spotted many Drow skulking about. Ello had previously raised five more Ettins. These, he promptly sent in to melee. The rest of the Band closed to do battle. The fight turned when Ello cast slay living on Eclavdra, the head nasty, and she amazingly failed both her resistance and saving roll. One female Drow leader type survived the fight to flee down a passageway which led deeper into the earth. The Band pursued but was delayed by a Lurker which fell on the party requiring them to fight free.

And this is where we finished.

I now turn over the reigns to The Rod for the next portion of the adventure. I am sorry that I am leaving things a bit of a mess for Rodney. First, Lily is dead and not only does the Band have no thief, Ann Marie has no character. Further, Eire is apparently going to embark on this vision quest to retrieve his shit. Good luck with that.

I want to let everyone know how much I appreciate your attentiveness and concentration through what was a long and challenging module. You guys did a great job. Unfortunately, it only gets tougher from here. The Drow you faced were pretty weak. I did not even have them use their innate abilities such as levitate or darkness. Also, as surface dwellers, we are really out of our element. The other Underdark denizens are not only nasty, but well suited to their environment. If anyone has a chance, I suggest they do some reading up on the abilities of other common Underdark creatures.

Here is what you guys have that was not in the purloined bag:

Ello has a +3 and a +4 adamantine mace.

Greywolf has a potion of Hill Giant control.
And, that is really about it. Everything else was taken by Gareth.
Unfortunately, it was quite a hall. For example - Gauntlets of Ogre Power, Gem of Controlling Fire Elementals, a Frostbrand, 2 Flametounges, Ring of Water Elemental Command, a Manual of Clear though and an Amulet of the Planes, just to name a few.

Oh well, so it goes. Again, I had a lot of fun and am looking forward to playing my character again.

EPILOGUE:

As he swam up through the murky depths towards consciousness, he had the sensation that his face was being dragged over something rough like tree bark or sandpaper. When he was finally able to force his eyes open, he realized that he was not being dragged, but was being licked by his truest companion Truesilver.

With a groan, Eire Wyndlem forced himself into a sitting position. As he did, the world swam before his eyes. As he fought down the wave a nausea, he felt a dull ache in his right shoulder. As he reached over and felt the small dart still protruding from the cap of his shoulder, the days previous events sprung back to vivid detail.

"That bitch," he snarled. With an unsteady lurch, he regained his feet and stood woozily for a few moments while trying to get his bearings. The Drow poison had done its work and he realized from the stiffness in his joints that he had been unconscious for many hours.

With a grunt, Eire pulled the Drow bolt out of his shoulder. Blood whelmed out of the small wound but was quickly staunched by light pressure. Truesilver took this all in while sitting on his haunches feeling his master's discomfort through the familiar bond.

Eire then tried to get a hold of his anger and take stock of the situation. He was separated from the rest of his party. He was alone on a godforsaken basalt plain with the stink of heated rock filing his nostrils. He had no supplies, few spells remaining and no spell books. It was then that Eire despaired. "Why must the gods continuously torture me," railed Eire in his own mind.

In a spate of childish anger, Eire kicked a piece of obsidian against the massive gate as if that gesture alone would solve all of his problems. After again taking a moment to quell his anger, his rage was slowly replaced with a petulant determination to find Gareth and recover his belongings.

Eire knew that Gareth had a several hour lead on him and that she possessed a large repository of magical items, including Lily's Cloak of the Bat which allowed her to change into bat form and cover much more ground than he could on foot. The surrounding drab plain gave Eire no clues as to which direction Gareth may have fled.

Stepping over a pile of cinders with Truesilver in tow, Eire pulled his cloak about him and resignedly set off on his pursuit of Gareth in his quest to recover that which was stolen from him.

Alex 4/22/03

Recrap of Descent into the Depths of the Earth

The journey down into the depths continues.

When we began, the party ran into another group of trolls that were quickly dispatched. After burning them, the party grew weary of the stench of trolls, and backtracked to the main cavern.

The BOTH moved forward into the massive cavern and saw that it was a huge warren or endless maze of passageways and caverns. The party took one of the wider passageways and discovered two narrow descending passageways. Padimon detected no evil within 60 feet. At this point, a key decision was made by the party to ignore them and continue exploring further.

Eire went into invisible wraith form and explored two large caverns and a passageway that went on indefinitely. In one cavern were pack lizards. In another were a series of ledges 40 feet above the cavern floor. On the ledges were many small, winged, horned creatures. While Ello crushed walls on the pack lizards, the rest of the BOTH moved in to fight the gargoyles, 23 in all, who swooped down to attack.

After killing the gargoyles, Kim grew restless and decided to do some solo exploration. He climbed up to the gargoyle’s ledges, but found nothing. He continued climbing around the passageways until some unfortunate luck caused him to fall to the floor with a thud. Circling around, Kim was confronted with the same narrow passageways that the BOTH had bypassed. The urge to explore overwhelmed Kim, and he ventured down. It opened up into a cave where a voice said, “I am an automatic magical warning device. This cave is unsafe and may collapse if entered. Please leave immediately.” This did not quell Kim’s desire to advance, and as he walked in, he was thrown to the ceiling in a field of reversed gravity. Kim thought better of his situation, and fell to the cavern floor as he backtracked out of the cave. Had Kim stayed and explored further, he would never have been seen or heard from by the BOTH again.

This brings us back to the BOTH’s decision to bypass the narrow passageways. Kim had ventured into a cave that was the home of a powerful Lich. The Lich was not interested in a fight unless pressed to battle, hence the warning device and reverse gravity to discourage intruders. In his arsenal, he would have summoned an invisible stalker, used time stop to steal Eire’s components and spell book, used Otto’s irresistible dance on Kennit, used power word kill on Paddy and/or Ello, and a 20-HD fireball. Had the BOTH descended, would the party have pressed forward to find out what was in this mysterious cave??? It would have made an interesting battle.

After Kim rejoined the BOTH, the party destroyed a pack of ghouls and ghasts. Then a giant slug sprayed Ello and Eire’s minions with a powerful acid. The party quickly killed the slothful beast, and continued down the main passageway leaving the warren.

The party continued the next day and stepped into an area with dripping stalactites and stalagmites. As the BOTH walked through, 6 piercers fell onto the party. One piercer impaled Kim through his shoulder. The BOTH moved on after Ello sent an animated Ettin down the passageway to clear a path.

After descending for another day, the party came to a river. On the other side were a raft and a large fish-like humanoid. After getting his attention, the kuo-toan rowed across to meet the BOTH. An acceptable toll was paid, and he rowed the party across the river without a problem. The party took a short break to sip cocktails and catch some rays on the white sand beach along the riverbank.

After walking for another day, while descending some natural terraced steps, an undead minion fell into a concealed pit. A dozen tiny 1-foot creatures emerged from small holes in the pit to beat the fallen minion to death. A second pit caught another minion. A narrow ledge in between the pits remained, and the party carefully tight-roped across. Greywolf lost his balance and fell into the pit. A dozen more tiny creatures threw a net over him and started bludgeoning him with leathern clubs. Padimon jumped down to help his fallen comrade, but 6 of the creatures jumped on him. Wolfie was beaten into oblivion, and Paddy’s backpack strap was cut. Before they could drag Wolfie away into one of the small holes, Padimon was able to kill them off. The party ventured on, but not before Kim suggested, “Aren’t we going to plug up the hole?”

Within another mile, Eire was ambushed at the back of the marching order. About 10 of the pesky little creatures started cutting the straps of his backpack. Kennit grabbed one of them and debated about what to do with it. You could see the inner conflict going on in Andy’s head. I could be way off, but this is how I read it: Andy thinking, “Must…..throw….it….at….Kim”, and Kennit thinking, “Want…to….throw….at….Kim….but…..what….would…..Kennit…..do?” In the end, Kennit decided to throw it against the wall. The creatures almost cut through both straps, but were killed before they could steal the pack. Eire repaired his backpack, and fashioned some leather butt floss to boot.

The BOTH continued descending and entered a wide area of the passageway. They were met by a group of friendly gnomes. The gnome’s greeted the party saying, “Greeting surface dwellers”, and Eire responded, “Greetings hole dwellers.” After Kim conversed with the group, the BOTH stated that they wanted to speak with some non-gay gnomes. Surprisingly not offended by this remark, the gnomes stated that they hated the kuo-toan and drow races, and would lead the party to the shrine of the kuo-toan.

The final encounter of the evening saw the BOTH ambush an oncoming drow merchant train. The ambush was planned and executed to perfection. 11 drow, 15 bugbear slave guards, 16 gnoll, goblin and half-orc slaves and 4 pack lizards were killed. Each of the drow wore a brooch, medallion or pin with a black spider inscription, and Ello took them from the bodies. Also, nine potions were recovered.

We left off with the gnomes leading the BOTH down the passageway.

Well, it was quite a session. Despite constantly telling myself to stay on task, stay on task, I thought it was a very productive session. You are quickly moving down the depths. Saturday is the only day that works for everyone. Let me know if there is a conflict. The session may not last very long because I’m almost done. We could get together in the afternoon or evening. We’ll then level up, and I’ll hand the reins over to Nutson.

Rod 5/5/03

Recrap of Vault of the Drow

Gang,
Everyone did a fantastic job last night. Smart people being smart is always entertaining.
We began in Lolth's temple in the main chamber. Kennit took a quick moment to investigate the mysterious tapestry one more time. While smoke passed into it, Kennit's sword did not reveal any special properties. The BOTH then took a moment to gather itself before heading downstairs, where it rightly believed the greatest danger lay. Importantly, the party had not yet polymorphed back to its real form, and so we still had a gay pirate/florist prancing about, and a drow wizard. Kim was still a giant spider.

Once at the bottom of the stairs, everyone had to save vs. fear. This was not a spell, instead it was simply the result of being in such an evil locale. Those who didn't save (Kim and Greywolf) were able to gather their wits over time as the party wisely waited for them to recover. It is worth pointing out that while we were able to overcome unthinkable evil, we were not able to get a sandwich that came on anything other than garlic bread. Some darkness simply cannot be pierced.

Looking around the BOTH saw a huge altar and two silver cages on either side it. In one cage was a male drow named Nilonim (Neutral Good) who told the party that he was to be sacrificed to Lolth. He explained that a huge spider web wall nearby might be all that stood between the party and Lolth. He was loaded down with gold, gems, and a pat on the ass from Kennit, and away he went - exit stage left, a page from the c'ya program.

The party took a quick moment to heal and inventory important items, and then jammed Kim through a hole in the webbed wall like so much bagboy cock into a drunken feed mill employee. Upon reaching the other side of the wall, the hole closed and Kim found himself face to face with the demon goddess Lolth, who like Kim was in giant spider form. Lolth smiled and waited for her new plaything to react. Kim blurted out "um, hi Lolth, I finally found you." The next word out of Lolth's mouth was "Die", and always eager to please, Kim obliged. Had Kim saved she might have been able to find another way out of the room, but with no recon and no real preparation, poor Kimmy was doomed from the start. I suppose she could have snuck in somehow and opened the room up from the inside - but then again, things turned out quite well for the BOTH anyway. Poor Kim though, such a bright future lay ahead, you know both of his parents are doctors, and he has a basically endless source of income as long as mullets can be sold to kids with cancer.

In any event, the party now knew that it needed to find another way in. Around the perimeter they went until they came to a hallway from which ghastly and ghoulish voices and laughing could be heard. Sure enough, a hallway of cells and guard chambers was revealed, featuring 8 ghouls and 4 ghasts, all unnaturally large. No problem, Ello will just turn them right? Not so fast, here on the south side you have to come correct, and Lolth had cast powerful magic making turning impossible. We had been given a preview of Lolth's power when Greywolf asked Silvanis for help and was warned of her power. In other words, the BOTH had an old fashioned, West Side Story type rumble on its hands.

The party was weakened from lack of sleep and food, and disheartened by Ello's failure. The undead meanwhile were hungry and happy for some entertainment, knowing that Lolth had their back. With the battle cry of "Don't Kim this up" in waded our heroes. Eire of course built a little metal fort and crawled inside. Fort version 2.0 would be better. As this battle raged on the drow upstairs barricaded the exit up the stairs. It was starting to look like this would be the BOTH's last resting place. The Ghasts and Ghouls put up a good fight, paralyzing some party members, and beating the hell out of others. One made its way to Eire's shell, but was soon smashed to bits by the rest of the party. Padimon looked to have grown into the wheel of justice, and Kennit was handing out damage like adventure travel business cards.

Finally, all the undead were killed, and the BOTH freed some slaves. These malnourished humans were let out of the cages and I'm sure made it home safely. Now it was time to get back in to see Lolth. There was another Web wall blocking her room, but Silvanis had told Greywold a knock spell would take it down. The huge cementish wall came crashing down, and now only a couple of brass doors stood between the party and its destiny - you know, it's unyielding desire to rescue Kim.

Once the doors were flung open, only a huge black globe could be seen, Padimon, staying true to his calling rushed in, and the BOTH in uncharacteristic togetherness followed close behind, except for Eire who in characteristic untogetherness hung out in a hallway cubicle under his new shell which featured the 'glory hole' (patent pending).

What followed was an epic battle of good versus evil. Lolth had already summoned a type V demon to assist her, and she had cast several spells on herself and the area before the battle. She was in top shape, and ready to kill every one of the party. She can heal herself at will, cast magic user and cleric spells, saves against everything on a 2, can gate in demons, and has all kinds of other evilly abilities.

The first demon she gated in was a particularly nasty one. He cast blindness, darkness, and started slashing with Padimon. He then gated in another demon, and Lolth gated in three more later. This was really going to be tough. As things got worse, the demons began using telekinesis to try and rip weapons away, which did have the effect of hurting your ACs and to hit rolls. Lolth hid behind a wall of fire, and started sending pillars of flame down on Paddy and Raddy. Greywolf called in some berserkers who quickly attacked him. He went invisible and hid his blind ass for awhile, not before loosing his famous gust of wind at the wall of fire. So greywolf was blind, and invisible, and had a band of crack heads after him, but the party was too busy to help out.

Ann Marie was now playing Mongo, and as she got a good hit in, we heard "Atta girl" from the chorus. Ello was running around madly healing everyone, Kennit and Paddy were beating the shit out the demons, Greywolf was wetting himself, and Eire was controlling an offensive invisible stalker. After the berserkers gave up on Greywolf they turned their ineffective attention to the demons as well. No one was able to get through to Lolth who was behind so many defensive spells that she was almost invulnerable. Meanwhile one of the demons had had enough of Kennit and went to the bite and burn his fucking face off attack.

Somehow, the party was holding its own. Everyone made save after save against death and blindness, and held its ground even as the demons tried to fling them around the room. Maggots were pouring out of wounded demons, and fire was slowly engulfing the whole room, but everyone stuck it out. Seeing that her demons were gone, and she was no longer in a battle meant strictly to amuse her, Lolth got serious. She killed Radimon with a single word, and then filled the room with water, six feet to be exact. Ello dragged Raddy to the door, and everyone got out of there - well almost everyone...Greywolf was still blind, and couldn't find the door. He cleverly turned into a crocodile and got out with his life.

Deep breath.

Back in the hallway things slowed down a bit. Everyone gathered their wits and tried to heal a bit. Everyone was a bit dinged up, especially Kim and Radimon. Ello brought Raddy back to life and then we tried to figure out how to deal with this room filled with water. Remember when Ann Marie suggested holy water against Lolth? That was a good idea.

It took a while to come up with a plan, but then a very good one was put in place. Eire teleported the water away, and it was time to get back in there. Why not ride back in on a chariot made of fire? That sounds cool. Sustaine's chariot was called forth, and we went back into Lolth's chamber. She was a big invisible spider on the ceiling, right? Nope. She moved down to the corner and waited for the party to enter. Kitty's pussy-ass head was tucked down so she was no help. Importantly, the party won initiative, and even though he couldn't 'see' here, Padimon knew where she was, and quickly hit Lolth for 40 or so points of damage. That got her attention. She quickly shot a few cones of cold at the greater dangers, and then got the hell out of there. Did I say hell? I wonder if that's significant.

When she vanished, a platinum egg, shaped like a football dropped onto the floor. After Mongo tried to hatch it (at Kennit's urging) the party let Ello bravely pick it up. Nothing happened to him. Padimon detects evil on the egg, and it appears to be flawless and indestructible.

The party has stood toe to toe with Lolth and lived to tell about it. They now have a sweet football, and a bunch of demon carcasses to prove it. The berserkers went upstairs and took the barricade down, but were quickly slain by dozens of drow warriors and priestesses. That's where we left off.

The party is quite weakened, and justifiably freaked out. Kim is dead, and Raddy has seen the other side. Lolth is gone, and we still don't have many answers. What the fuck is going on? Where do we go now? What do we do when we get there? How horrible would it smell if some chick popped her glass eye out by smacking the back of her head, dunked her head in the live well on a sweet bass boat to grease this up, and then took one in the socket, all while holding a plate of cookies in one hand and a jell-o shot in the other (thanks to Sean and Alex for that nice addition)? Can anyone really be happy about that? Or, is that true love?

Again, great job, you were all very creative and had some great moments. I forgot about Eire's teleporting poison darts INTO Lolth. That was a neat move. I think the weekend is bad for me, but let's play next week sometime. Let me know if Monday or Tuesday work for you all.

Garlique,
Nutson

Recrap of Desert of Desolation

What would I do without game night? We always come up with some new invention (e.g. archery nip), and some new andy sutra position (e.g. boofoo 'did you feel that?'). It really is like attending an Ivy League lecture series once a week. God bless.

We started the night soaking wet and with the smell of damp beaver in our nostrils. And then we starting playing! C'mon, just kidding, oh cripes. We were immediately confronted by an androsphinx, not androgynous, not taking andro, just a talking winged lion. We didn't do too well with its riddle, so we killed it. No problem. Then we entered some crazy misty hallways - the mists are magical and intended to get you good and lost in the maze. The Rod did a nice job of finding his way by 'feel', something he's done before when exploring uncharted Persian territory. His good luck was quickly yanged by some bad though, when he darted into a nearby room and was smothered by a lurker above. To his credit, this was in character for Leo.

Lurkers are bad. The party (mostly Faye and Thekk) did a nice job of cutting Leo free. The heavy gold chest however, was unclaimed. Leo then, still in character, knocked on the next door - why? Because the thieves inside had left a note saying 'knock first' so that they wouldn't be surprised. Leo opened the door, and was sprayed with arrows. That made him angry. The next time he opened the door he crashed in and started killing. Thekk claimed his first soul for Selune and after some interrogation the party ventured back into the halls.

We next stumbled upon some elves who were mourning a dead friend. Andy did a nice job staying in character with his 'I recently lost someone' line. The party was equal parts nice and inquisitive, sort of like a mid-30s administrative assistant trolling for a husband at the west side Great Dane, and allowed the elves to join them. Everyone smelled something wrong, but decided to use the elves anyway.

The elves led the party to a room filled with minotaurs. They wanted the minotaurs to kill the party of course. After an ill-planned battle, the party killed the minotaurs, and after Faye took a few arrows in the back, the elves, er, I mean, doppelgangers, were killed as well. You all did a nice job figuring out the way up to the next level through the trap door in this room, and it was up to a new area.

Leo killed some wraiths quick like, and the party found its way to a tropical reserve in the middle. Reynaldo wowed the party with stories of butterflies and double-dealing operators, but also quickly realized that this was the way up. Meanwhile, Thekk and Faye went looking for booty. They found a trapped room, and Faye did a nice job dropping a bottle to spring the trap.

Eventually the party regrouped and made its way to the Gauntlet level of the pyramid. This is just a series of tests that the party must overcome. Andy suddenly became a combination of Albert Einstein, Carrot Top, and the entire cast of a jail rape scene, and unraveled these riddles one at a time. The first test were Chabang men, whatever the hell those are. When struck by edged weapons, they divide and reform. Andy, possibly realizing this, or maybe just wanting to get elbow deep in mud, shoved them into the waterfall nearby, and this potentially dangerous threat was history.

Landing two was fire - and Andy simply disbelieved. Danger gone.

Alex, sick of goddamn tests, threw a copper up onto the next ledge. A good idea, but this ledge was a duplication area. As each of you walked to it, you were duplicated and had to fight your 'dark side'. You all did a nice job of not going as a group - I think that might have been Alex's idea. In any event, you had to fight your alter egos. Leo had to overcome a guy with three kids by three different women, who smokes a pack a day, and wears a leather packer jacket. Sirthe had to fight a girl who works at Banana Republic and loves Jay-Z. Reynaldo had to fight a successful mid-level executive at a consulting firm. Thekk had to fight Willis from Diff'rent Strokes. Faye had to fight a guy with a flavor savor and a pierced eyebrow. We used a new style of chaos fighting, where we all just rolled at the same time. The party made it through.

Finally, we made it to the top landing, where a cleric/wizard was sitting in a throne, next to a huge bronze fist and arm. So this is what Andy's dreams are like...

As has been your trend lately, everyone did a really good job. You overcame lots of traps, and perhaps more importantly, everyone really played their characters quite well. Leo was dumb and hungry. Sirthe was righteous but glory-starved. Faye was treacherous. Thekk was angry but obedient. Reynaldo was morose and gay. Nice job all.

We are almost out of the pyramid. Then it's back out into the desert. What will the plan be then?

Recrap of Tomb of Horrors

The band with no name begins its dungeon crawl…

Theskul opened the other two chests in the room found through one of the crawlways. Six asps slithered out of one, but the other held a crystal box holding a ring. He threw a club into the chest from across the room and 8 poisoned darts flew up and hit the ceiling.

Tranny, the mage, found a secret door at the end of the other crawlway which led to a chapel with pews, an altar and another misty archway. Theskul tapped on the altar and a lightning bolt shot forth which singed him and grazed the paladin and burly Gus. Meanwhile Tranny tapped on the pews and found them to be hollow. He opened up the first one and poisonous gas quickly filled the room. All but the quick thief and elven mage/fighter were stuck in the gas-filled room which drained a bit of strength from each.

The noble paladin went inside the misted archway. He immediately noticed a change in himself and detected evil inside the small room. Stepping back out of the mist, everyone saw that he was now a she with 34 double D’s. And the evil detected was from herself -- she was now one ornery chaotic evil anti-paladette. Tranny tried to push her back into the mist. After a struggle, she realized she was outnumbered so she ran back into the mist. This changed her back into an honorable paladin, but she was still sans testicles. In this tomb good things come to those who make courageous moves – you were justly rewarded with sweet cans.

Tranny found a stone slab in the wall with a coin slot in the middle of it. You had already brightly figured out this riddle, a magic ring was deposited, and the stone slab slid out of the way. Everyone navigated through a few pitfalls that were triggered open. A long hallway led to a section of counterweighted floor that slanted down into a fire pit. This trap could have taken down a few of you, but a good use of a find traps spell revealed that this passageway was no good.

After retreating, a secret door was found in one of the pit traps and then Theskul found a shiny mace at the bottom of some stairs. The group quickly realized that this room was a false final resting place of Acererak. After the pseudo-lich was destroyed you recovered his begemmed golden crown worth roughly 50,000 gp.

The band grew tired of looking for the secret way forward so Tranny bent over the newly female paladette to pass the time. It’s about time! I was waiting for the other female fighter to join in for a first ever gamehole inter-party threesome. An opportunity missed.

A find the path spell revealed a secret door that wouldn’t open so the wall was transmuted into mud and the band found a room with some urns. The find the path spell fizzled, but a key was found within the urns and you are just past the half-way point of the crypt with one key in hand.

Next week Wednesday work for everyone?

The Rod
8/28/04

Recrap of Ravenloft

We got off to a good start. The Rod (Hank), Andy (Coco, yes, Coco), and Alex (Padimon), were given an assignment to do their best to take care of a situation involving a vampire in a place called Barovia. A note had been found on the corpse of a gypsy by chance, asking for assistance. The letter was signed by the Helmite Priest of Barovia.

As they headed toward the town, they heard a cowardly rustling in the Forest along the road. Out came Sean (Ruthric), dazed and wounded.

After his initial attempt to communicate using broken common, Padimon had already drawn his sword to do justice. (Interestingly, Coco also speaks with an asian accent. Whatever).

Ruthric managed to convince them that he was indeed a Creric of Rathander you guys, me creric. Padimon decided to put off killing him when a pack of large wolves attacked the party. They were easily dispatched, with Coco managing to slit the throat of one of them with his throwing knife, which returns to his hand immediately. The rest were either killed or ran away. Hank proceeded to eat the raw meat of one of the corpses. Pretty standard.

The boys continued on with Ruthric in tow to Barovia. They passed into the fog of Barovia proper, only learning later that no one can live for more than a day after breathing the fog. Until whatever magic has claimed this land is vanquished, the party is here to stay.

Heading into the town of Barovia, the Asian Invasion found a run down village with many empty buildings. The feeling of fear is palpable. After using a platinum coin as a missile weapon (totally violating the rules) Padimon managed to convince the Innkeeper to open the door to the Blood on the Vine Tavern. Padimon decided to stay in a building next door with the horses and walked out rather abruptly.

Fucking Nutson (Stumpf) drunkenly tried to throttle/fondle Ruthric, then passed out as the son of the Mayor stepped forward to break it up and ask for help. As this was happening, the Vampyr Strahd appeared before Padimon with some more of his Worgs in tow, apparently just to taunt him (and light him up with a fireball). The rest of the Asian Invasion helped out, and Strahd and his minions fled the scene, Strahd laughing all the while. Fuck'in Strahd.

After this display of power, Stumpf was able to communicate that he used to be a merchant caravan guard, and after being stranded for a year in Barovia, had finally thought of something to do. Free little dwarf man. The Slavers that had opened a fighting pit starring Colin (Aaron). Strumpf decided to kick some ass by drinking at the tavern until the group happened by.

Padimon immediately left to deal with the slavers, with the rest of the group following. Coco put on a fantastic light show for the gamblers and slavers gathered around the pit. Not sure why, but it was FANTASTIC. Fucking great.

As the group approached, Padimon sensed evil, i.e. became a killing machine. Most of the gamblers fled, leaving 20 guards and the head slaver, Dratch, who was looking paler than usual. And floating.

Stumpf in his drunken stupor immediately jumped into the pit to accomplish his one goal for the year. After turning 3 Worgs into blood soup, he turned around to find that Colin had bent the bars of his cage and already been pulled out of the pit by Hank the Hunter. Colin the Dwarf managed to throw one guard into the pit, and knock the skull in on another, despite fighting in his skivvies. Coco managed to stop speaking in tongues long enough to cast a sweet cone of cold, freezing 4 guards to death with one spell.

Padimon knocked the shit out of Dratch, who had obviously been tapped by Strahd as his knew vampire bitch. Hank showed up when Dratch the vampire had one hit point left and struck his head off, causing the corpse to light afire and damage both Padimon and Hank. Hank showed his Congressional Medal of Ugly face while fighting the vampires, indicating a special hatred for them.

Meanwhile, Ruthric feebly swung his mace, actually killing one of the guards, Stumpf turned everything he touched into a spaghetti-type substance, Coco used his magical knife, and Colin when into the Vampires dwelling to take back his possessions stolen so many months ago when he was taken by the slavers.

Also found, a ring of spell storing, ring of weakness, ring of summon djinni once per week, bracers of AC 3, and a Helm of underwater action.

The group immediately headed back to the Tavern to rest and rehabilitate. No one searched the bodys of the guards, so anything there is gone to the scavengers in the merchant camp.

AM character has yet to make an appearence. If I get a character sheet she might. So far you know that Strahd has a great deal of power, you are trapped her until you destroy him, if you can, and you thus far only seen the beginnings of his army of minions.

Still need to speak with the Burgomaster about his daughter, who you know has been infected as well. You also have not yet spoken with the Priest of Helm in his broken-down temple.

Misc:
Why is a mage dressed like a cleric?
Why is Hank eating raw meat?
Why does Colin remember the magical knife used by Coco as one he made previously?
Why does someone keeping buying that fucking Milwaukee's Best shit?
What was the smell this time?
Do the merchants have anything worth selling?

Chime in if I forgot something.

The Hahngolian
1/18/05